All You Wanted
by Zane's Girl- Jo
Summary: If you want to, I can save you. I can take you away from here. So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody to care.
1. Chapter 1

**All You Wanted**

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

**A/N: The story is based on Michelle Branch's_ All You Wanted_.**

**A/N: I'm trying out something new. So bear with me. **

**Summary: ****If you want to, I can save you. I can take you away from here. So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody to care.**

_I wanted to be like you  
I wanted everything  
So I tried to be like you  
And I got swept away_

Shiz.

She was finally at Shiz. Finally.

After eighteen years of Cowlen Grounds, she was finally at Shiz.

Finally, maybe she would be able to free herself from the hell that had been her home life.

As she unpacked in her dorm, her mind wandered back to the one thing that had been the nail in the board of hell at that mansion.

Her mother.

Melena.

The locket dangled from her neck, the small emerald in the middle of the gold shining in the sun from the open window.

_"Come here, my sweet. That's a good girl." _

_The six-year-old climbed onto her mother's lap on the bed. Instantly, her fingers started playing with the locket hanging from her mother's neck. _

_"It's pretty isn't it?" The child nodded, and burrowed into her mother. "Do you want it?" _

_The child nodded against her mother's breast. So, the older woman reached behind her, unclasped the necklace, took it off, and then clasped it around her daughter's neck. _

_"There, now it's yours." _

_Small fingers played with the gold locket, rubbing over the small emerald in the middle. _

_"Elphaba." _

_The child looked up at her mother, her wide, dark eyes meeting her mother's own dark eyes. _

_"I want you to have it. Keep it close to your heart, always. And always remember that I love you." _

_"But mommy--"_

_"Because I won't always be around. Someday you'll be an adult. And you'll fall in love with a man. And I don't care how much you love him, or how scared you are, if he's hurting you, I want you to get out. Okay? No matter how much you love him, get out. Okay? Because anyone that hurts you doesn't really love you. Okay?" _

_The little girl nodded, and her mother hugged her. She then tucked her daughter under the covers, kissed her forehead, and left. _

_"I love you Elphaba." _

_The child woke up at the sound of voices rising. Quickly, she silently slipped out of bed, and her room. She slipped into the shadows of hall outside the living room, and watched, quiet. _

_"You gave that vermin your locket?!"_

_"She's not vermin, Frex! She's your daughter!" _

_"No! Nessa's my daughter! Not that.....that thing!" _

_A slap, and a cry. Tears welled, but didn't spill over. _

_"She's my daughter! I wanted her to have it! Not Nessa! You give Nessa everything! She isn't your only daughter! Elphaba is too!"_

_A shove, the glasses on the table shattered on the floor. _

_"You filthy--"_

_A knife being raised. _

_Her mother's screams echoed through the house, as her father repeatedly raised and lowered the knife, the blade going from sparkling silver to deep, blood red. Finally, her mother's screams ended. Silently, the girl ran back to her room, and burrowed under the covers, the sight of blood tattooed into her memory forever. _

Her hand came up to grasp the locket. With one gentle squeeze, she dropped her hand, and moved to the bathroom. Her reflection stared back at her as she placed her toiletriees on her side of the sink counter.

Her long, wavy black hair tumbled down her back, her violet eyes snapped. The light blush of dark green shadow on her skin brought out the violet in her eyes. She was beautiful, like her mother. Except for the green skin. A soft, harlequin green.

She had tried so hard to be like her mother, to be a good daughter, to do as her father wished, but it had never been enough. Her mother had known the night she died that she would never live to see her daughter grow up. As she turned away from the mirror, her hand wandered back to the locket, the ball of her thumb running subconsiously over the emerald in the middle.

No matter how she tried, she would never be her mother.

She would never be Melena.

Never.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2. **

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera**

**Thanks to Akasharouge, populardarling, crazybeagle, witch-of-the-west8942, and TwilightISmyOBSESSION for reviewing 1. **

_I didn't know that it was so cold  
And you needed someone  
to show you the way  
So I took your hand and we figured out  
That when the tide comes  
I'd take you away_

She entered the cafeteria.

Students crowded around, getting something to eat, sat at tables, going through their schedules, or chatting with already made friends.

She took a deep breath, grabbed her mother's locket, and turned, fleeing the cafeteria. Blindly, she moved past other students, who stopped and stared at the young green woman. Once Elphaba made it off campus, she calmed down, and slipped into a nearby cafe, ordered a cup of coffee and a muffin to go, paid, and left, heading back to the dorm.

She finally made it back to her dorm, to find her new roommate unpacking.

The girl was short, slightly on the chubby side, with golden curls and brilliant blue eyes. She was dressed in pink, and stopped unpacking when Elphaba entered. Quickly, she turned.

"Oh, you must be Miss Elphaba. I'm Galinda." The girl said, moving towards the green girl, her hand out.

Suspicious, Elphaba took it and curtly shook. Then, she moved past Galinda to her bed. She settled on the edge of her bed, and took a sip of her coffee, lost in her own thoughts. Galinda finally stopped packing, and sat on her own bed, watching Elphaba.

"Where are you from?" Elphaba started at the voice.

"Um...M...Munchkinland." She said, eating a piece of her muffin.

"Oh. I'm from Gillikin." Elphaba nodded. "So, do you have any siblings?"

Elphaba swallowed, and nodded.

"A sister and a brother."

"Really? I don't have any siblings. I'm an only child." Galinda said, slightly bummed. "So, what's your major?"

"What are you trying to do? Make friends or just annoy me?" Elphaba snapped.

"I was just making small talk." Galinda said, put off by Elphaba's attitude.

"Well don't. I don't need small talk, and I don't need friends. We may be rooming together, but that is all we are, is roommates. Okay? Outside of this room, you don't talk to me, you don't address me, you just leave me alone. All right? Got it?" Elphaba snapped.

Galinda nodded, a scowl on her face.

"I got it." She watched as Elphaba tossed the crumbs, bag, and cup in the trash. "What the hell crawled up your ass? What, were you abused as a child?"

Elphaba turned on her.

"Don't you ever mention that! Okay?" She screamed.

"All right, fine. I'll leave you alone." Galinda snapped back.

"Good." Elphaba snapped, changing into her nightgown. She climbed into her bed, turned the bedside lamp off, and pulled the covers over her head, leaving Galinda sitting on her own bed in the dark.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera**

**A/N: Warning: Elphie becomes a little....unhinged in this chapter.....**

**Thanks to populardarling for reviewing 2.**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Her first few weeks of classes was long.

History, Life Sciences, Ozian Literature, Sorcery, Jazz, Musical Theater 101.

Six classes.

Not nearly enough to keep her mind from wandering, but they'd have to do. She could always take more next semester.

It was Saturday at the end of the sixth week, when Elphaba found herself in her dorm alone, fingering the locket. The emerald sparkled in the light, and Elphaba could almost feel her mother's hands clasping the chain around her neck. Sighing, she got up, and went into the bathroom, stariing at her reflection. In her mind's eye, Melena stood behind her, clasping the gold chain around her neck.

"There, now it's yours."

Tears welled up in Elphaba's eyes, and her mother smiled at her, gently brushing her hair off her shoulder.

"You're beautiful, Elphaba. I'm sorry I wasn't here to see you grow up."

Elphaba blinked, and Melena was covered in blood, as Frex stabbed her repeatedly. Her mother's screams sounded in her ears and she grabbed her head, closing her eyes, trying to drown out the sound of murder. Images of that night flashed before her closed eyelids.

_Blood. _

_On the mahogany floors. _

_A twisted, mangled body. _

_Stab wounds in every visible point of skin. _

_Blood, soaking through her mother's clothes, staining the floors, the table legs, the Gillikin rug. Running down the length of the floor, racing towards Elphaba. _

_Frex, her father, standing over her mother's lifeless body, the knife in his hands, dripping her mother's blood, ruby red drops falling to the floor like rain on the roof. His clothes, covered in his wife's blood, his body calm, as he watched her lifeless form, as if expecting her to get up any moment. _

_The sound of the grandfather clock chiming midnight. _

_Seeing Frex turn slowly, catching the glint of anger and insanity in his eyes before she fled back to her room. _

"_NO! Make it stop!_" Elphaba screamed, ripping at her hair. She wrenched her eyes open, and stared at the mirror.

Instead of her reflection, she saw her mother's murder, replaying over and over.

Pulse racing, she looked around frantically, and finally grabbed the silver handled hairbrush her mother had given her on her fifth birthday.

"Every young lady needs a brush. A silver hairbrush, a lady's brush, for a young lady."

Gripping the handle, she turned back to the mirror, seeing the murder, and threw the brush. She ducked, as shards flew from the impact.

When she stood, her own reflection stared back at her, cracked into a million pieces.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4. **

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera**

**A/N: Do you all want to know the plot? Or do you just want it to unfurl as you read? **

_I'm sinking slowly  
So hurry hold me  
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on  
Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone_

Class ended.

As Elphaba walked across the Shiz Green to her dorm, she was cut off by another student.

He was tall, with handsome features, and hazel eyes. Thick, brown hair, and a piercing smile.

"Yes? Can I help you?" Elphaba asked. She felt Glinda watching her from a distance, but ignored it.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Avaric."

"Elphaba." She replied, shaking his hand.

"So, how are you?"

"Fine." She replied, pushing past him; he fell into step beside her.

"That's good."

"Look, why are you following me?" She asked, turning on him.

"I just wanted to know if you'd like to go to dinner with me tonight."

She eyed him suspiciously, and fingered her locket, feeling the emerald rub against the ball of her thumb. After a moment,

"All right."

"Good. I'll pick you up at seven." He said, giving her a soft smile, before leaving Elphaba in the middle of the path. She continued back to her dorm, and slipped into the room.

Later that night, Galinda looked up from her Ozmagirl! to find Elphaba dressed in a short, black skirt and low cut halter top, the locket hanging around her neck. Her raven hair was pulled back in a loose bun, and she wore a pair of heels her mother had once owned. She had done her makeup, and was pulling on her leather jacket when Galinda finally spoke.

"Where are you going, Elphie?"

Silence.

"You look nice."

Silence, then,

"Out."

"Oh. Where?"

Silence.

"On a date."

"That's nice. With who?"

Silence.

"Avaric."

"Who's Avaric?"

"This boy I met in the Shiz Green."

"Oh. That's nice. Where you going?"

Finally, Elphaba spun around.

"Really, Miss Glinda. Must you make it your business to know every little detail of my life? Because if it is, I'm sorry to say that you will be out of luck. But, since you must know what I'm doing tonight, I might as well tell you, if only to get you to shut up." She said, moving towards the blonde. "I'm going out, on a date, with Avaric, this boy I met in the Shiz Green after class. That. . Now, anymore questions, Miss Glinda?"

"No."

"Good. Goodnight." Elphaba said, grabbing her purse and leaving, slamming the door behind her.

Once she made it out the entrance to Crage Hall, she breathed a sigh of relief to see Avaric. He smiled at her, and escorted her to the carriage, which then took them to this nice little restuarant, where they had dinner. Afterwards, Avaric brought her home.

"Where are you staying?" She asked, as he walked her to Crage Hall.

"My dorm's in Briscoe Hall. Room 1995. Why?"

"No reason. Just curious." Elphaba replied, as they stopped at the doors to Crage Hall. She turned to him.

"Thank you. I had a lovely evening."

"You're welcome."

Fingering her locket, Elphaba rose on her toes, and pressed her lips against Avaric's. The action caught him off guard, but he regained his balance, and wrapped his arms around her waist. With her free arm, she wrapped it around his neck, while her other hand played with the cool metal of her mother's locket.

Ten minutes, and finally, they broke apart.

Elphaba pulled away, licking her lips, as she pulled open the door to Crage Hall and slipped inside.

"Goodnight." She whispered, disappearing into the building.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera**

**A/N: The song will repeat itself in further chapters.**

**Thanks to Elphaba1Fan for reviewing 4. **

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Later that night, Elpahba lay in bed, her fingers playing with the chain of her mother's locket. She looked over at Galinda, who was snoring softly. Then, she glanced at the clock on her night stand.

10:45.

Silently, she pushed back the covers, and climbed out of bed, pulling on her skirt, jacket, and top, then her heels. She tiptoed to the door, and slipped out of it, soflty closing it behind her. The halls were silent as she moved through them and out the doors. She hurried through the green to Briscoe Hall, and counted the windows. Then, she grabbed ahold of the side of the wall, and pulled herself up.

A rap at the window pulled Avaric from his slumber. He sat up, and looked around, before his eyes landed on the figure at his window. Quickly, he climbed out of bed and hurried to the window, pulling it open. Elphaba was gripping the wall.

"Elphaba? What are you--"

"I needed to see you." She whispered, climbing into the room.

Once inside, she grabbed the front of his pajama top, and kissed him, passionately. She pushed him back until he was on the bed, and then climbed on top of him, her hands roaming. Avaric didn't object. He kissed her back, passionately. Soon, they began pulling each other's clothes.

Avaric's hands tangled in Elphaba's hair, and she gripped his back, her nails digging into his skin.

"Take me." She whispered, amid kisses. Soon, their moans mingled in the night, as the two fulfilled the other's longing.

Elphaba awoke around four the next morning. She raised her head, and looked around, finding herself in Avaric's bed, cuddled into his chest. Quietly, she sat up, then climbed out of bed, got dressed, and slipped out the window.

The doors to Crage Hall were still locked, and so Elphaba found no other solution than to sneak back into her dorm through the window of their second floor room. Just as she put one leg over the ledge into the room, a voice sounded.

"Where have you been?"

Elphaba looked up, to see Galinda standing at the window, arms crossed, a glare on her face. Elphaba sat there silent, refusing to meet her eyes. Then, she climbed into the room and closed the window. She pulled her jacket off and tossed it on the floor by her bed, then yanked her heels off, tossing them on the jacket. Silently, she stripped down to nothing but her underwear and bra, heading to the bathroom. Galinda caught sight of a small, violet colored lily on Elphaba's left shoulder.

A tattoo.

Silent, she followed her roommate to the bathroom.

"Where were you? Curfew was at nine." When Elphaba turned on the shower in the bathtub, Galinda slipped into the bathroom. "Were you having sex?" She asked.

Elphaba reached behind her and unhooked her bra, then let the garment fall to the floor. Covering her chest, she looked over her shoulder at Galinda.

"You were, weren't you?"

"That's none of your business." Elphaba replied, shimmying out of her underwear.

"Then where were you?"

"I don't have to answer to you. You aren't my mother." Elphaba said, stepping into the shower. She stopped when she heard 'mother' pass her lips. Then, she clammed up, grabbed the curtain, and yanked it across the tub, shutting Galinda out of the conversation. The blonde sighed, and returned to the bedroom, sitting down on her bed.

Finally, Elphaba stepped out of the shower, and came into the bedroom, wrapped in one of her mother's robes-a new one, one her mother never got to use. The new one she'd gotten for her birthday, three days before she died. It was a deep violet, like Melena's eyes, like Elphaba's. It even had her scent on it. From when she held it. Elphaba buried her nose in the material, breathing in the scent that was distinctly her mother- lily water and vanilla.

She passed Galinda, and moved to her side of the room. Silent, she changed a fresh nightgown and underwear, and slipped into bed, hanging the robe up in her closet. Then, she slipped between the covers, and turned her back to Galinda. The blonde sighed, and climbed into her own bed.

"Goodnight Elphie."

She was met with silence.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6.**

******Rifiuto: Non Miniera**

**A/N: The title comes from the fact that all Elphaba wants is: 1. to be loved 2. to be rid of the memory of her mother's murder**

**A/N: I'll give you the plot so far:**

**Elphaba watched Frex kill Melena when she was six. That basically scarred the girl (hence the memory in the first chapter, and the freak out in the 3rd chapter). Elphaba has basically suffered abuse (mental, emotional, phsyical) at the hands of her father from the time she was born, and, up until she was six, Melena was there to defend and protect her. But when Melena died, Elphaba had to fend for herself. She took the abuse from her father, and rebelled as much as she could while she was at Cowlen Grounds (hence the lily tattoo). So, when she gets to Shiz, she lets loose. Elphaba, basically, is trying to be like Melena (the wild sex, rebelliousness, etc). To Elphaba, it's a way of being close to her mother, without the memory of her murder. Everything she does in the story (the sex, tattoos and piercings in this chapter {there will be more, ie. along the lines of drugs and suicide in later chapters}) is basically a coping mechanism, to deal with the abuse her father put her through, and witnessing Melena's murder. **

**So, that's the plot so far. And don't worry, Fiyero will come in, it'll just be later. **

**Thanks to crazybeagle for reviewing 3, 4, and 5; Elphaba1Fan for reviewing 4 and 5, and TwilightISmyOBSESSION for reviewing 5.**

_All you wanted was somebody who cares  
If you need me you know I'll be there  
Oh, yeah_

Elphaba hurried through the Shiz Green.

It was Friday, which meant no classes over the weekend. She rushed to her dorm, dropped off her books, and grabbed her purse, counting out the money in her wallet.

With a small smile on her lips, she left Crage Hall, and headed out of Shiz, passing Galinda and her friends as she did so. The two girls ignored each other.

When Elphaba finally made it out of the city, she headed down the street, passing the cafe, headed to a tattoo shop she'd seen the last time she went out. Finally, she slipped through the door, and moved to the counter. The woman running the counter looked up.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"Do you do piercings?"

"Yep. What do you want?"

Elphaba bit her lip.

"My ear. The cartiledge. My right."

Twenty minutes later, the woman that owned the shop was numbing the cartiledge of Elphaba's right ear.

"So, how old are you, kid?" She asked, as she prepped the gun.

"Eighteen. I turn nineteen in September." Elphaba said, as the woman brought the gun to her ear, and pressed the trigger. Elphaba barely flinched.

When the woman finished, Elphaba handed her the money, before pulling her jacket on. It was then that the woman caught sight of Elphaba's tattoo.

"A violet lily?" Elphaba stopped, and nodded slowly.

"For my mother."

The woman nodded.

"I've got a pansy for my sister. Got it when I was twenty."

"Got mine when I was sixteen." Elphaba said, goingto the door. She stopped, and turned back to the woman. "Do you do any design?"

She nodded.

Galinda looked up, to see Elphaba walking down the path to their dorm.

"_That's_ your roommate? I'm _so sorry_ Galinda." ShenShen whispered. The four girls watched Elphaba take off her jacket, and finally caught sight of her lily tattoo.

"Is that a tattoo?" Galinda nodded.

"You know, I hear she slept with Avaric." ShenShen said.

"I heard that she forced herself on him."

"Avaric said he made the first move."

"Madame Morrible almost caught her sneaking back into her dorm."

"I've heard, that she's got major phsyic issues."

"That's _pshycological issues_, Pfanne." Milla corrected.

"Oh whatever. The point is, she's fucked up. Has she tried to hurt you, Galinda?" Pfanne asked.

"No. She barely says a word to me. She keeps to herself." Galinda replied, watching Elphaba closely. The green girl tossed her head, her long, flowing black hair tumbling over her shoulders. She then pulled something out of her purse, some sort of bottle, it looked like.

"Oh my god! She's a pill popper!" ShenShen whispered to the others. Galinda watched, as Elphaba dabbed something on the top of her ear.

"No. It's anti-septic or something. She's got a piercing. She's not a pill popper, you idiot." Galinda said. The girls rolled their eyes. Then, Elphaba turned, and locked eyes with Galinda. Violet hooked with blue. Then, Elphaba lowered her eyes, and pulled on her jacket. She buried her hands in the pockets, turned, and headed to the dorm, head down.

Later that night, Galinda entered the dorm, to see Elphaba sitting on her bed, brushing her hair with a silver handled brush. Elphaba looked briefly over her shoulder, and then returned to her activity. Sighing, Galinda sat on her bed and watched her roommate.

"Elphie?"

Silence, except the steady rhythm of the brush being pulled through ebony locks.

"Elphie, where'd you get the tattoo?" The other girl set her brush down, and began undressing, pulling her top over her head, revealing the lily, as well as a new tattoo. It was still slightly red. Galinda got a good look at it before Elphaba pulled her nightgown on.

It was an image of the locket Elphaba always wore, with the chain swirling around the gold oval, the emerald set in the middle.

As Elphaba climbed into bed and turned off the light, her fingers found the locket on her lower back. Gently, she traced the design, before reaching up with her other hand and grasping the locket around her neck. Tears squeezed out from between her eyelids, and ran down her cheeks as she buried her face in the pillow, and sobbed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7.**

******Rifiuto: Non Miniera**

**Thanks to Elphaba1Fan and crazybeagle for reviewing 6.**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Elphaba met Avaric outside the Life Sciences classroom after class.

They'd fallen into a routine: Elphaba would bump into Avaric in the cafeteria at breakfast, slip a note into his hand and then leave. After their last class, they'd meet up, and go back to Avaric's dorm.....

"Harder."

Their breath mingled, as their bodies came together.

"Please, harder!"

He kissed her, his lips meeting hers in a full, passionate kiss. Then, he kissed her neck, sucking on the skin where her neck and shoulder met. Her fingers dug into his back, and she arched her back, allowing him to go deeper. When they finally collapsed in each others' arms, out of breath and sweaty, Avaric brushed a strand of hair off her forehead. They'd been in this routine for four weeks, and Avaric felt it was time to talk.

"Elphaba."

"What?" She asked, looking up at him. She looked so vulnerable, Avaric hated himself for having to bring it up.

"I've been thinking."

"About what?" She asked, propping herself up on her elbow. He sighed.

"Us."

"Oh." She looked down at her locket. "What about us?"

"I....I think we need....to stop....." Elphaba nodded, then got out of bed and gathered her things, pulling her clothes on quickly. She grabbed her jacket, pulled it on, and slipped her bookbag over her shoulder, before opening the window and climbing out. "Elphaba!"

The girl stopped, sitting on the ledge, hands gripping the sill tightly. She looked up at him, waiting, hurt in her violet eyes. He sighed.

"It's not....it's not...."

"I get it Avaric." She whispered, so softly he thought she'd been thinking it instead of speaking it. "I was nothing more than a fuck to you. Another notch in your belt." And she slipped out the window.

"Elphaba!"

The girl looked up, when he caught her wrist.

"It's not you."

She eyed him, before pulling away. Then, she left. Avaric watched her drop to the ground, and hurry across the green to Crage Hall. He sighed, and watched her until she disappeared.

Elphaba leaned against the wall, holding her stomach. Sobs wracked her body, and she grabbed her hair.

_We need to stop_.

Avaric obviously thought of Elphaba as nothing more than a fuck, a one night stand, good for a wild evening and then tossed out with the trash for the morning pick up. She grabbed her mother's locket, and squeezed.

"What's wrong with me? Why am I so unlovable?" Elphaba asked, pressing the emerald into her hand.

_You're not unlovable, my sweet girl. You just need to find the right person. Remember what I told you._

Melena's words rang in her head, and she looked at the locket. Then, wiping her tears, she turned to the wall, and climbed back to her dorm.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

**Thanks to crazybeagle for reviewing 7.**

**Question: So her coping mechanisms are all destructive?**

**Answer: Yeah, basically....**

**Question: And hearing her mother's voice, even as a comforting one...does that count as some of the insanity you were talking about?**

**Answer: Yes**

_Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone_

Galinda looked up, to see Elphaba take a seat at one of the tables in the cafeteria.

She sighed, and stood, just as Milla, Pfanne, and ShenShen joined her.

"Hey Galinda, sit down." ShenShen said. Ignoring her, Galinda gathered up her tray, and brushed past them, going over to Elphaba.

"She's not." Pfanne said, mouth open.

"She is. She's going to sit with that slut." ShenShen replied.

"Give it a rest!" Milla snapped, taking a seat.

"I heard Avaric dumped her because he caught her with another man." ShenShen said, as she and Pfanne sat down across from Milla.

"I heard Elphaba stole money from him, and then called rape when he asked for it back." Pfanne said, causing ShenShen to laugh. Milla wrinkled her nose.

_"Will you two shut up! Just leave her alone!"_ Milla screamed, causing every head to turn and stare at the three.

"God Milla, there's no need to get so upset." ShenShen said. Clenching her jaw, Milla picked up her glass of iced tea, and dumped it over ShenShen's head, and then picked up her bowl of pasta and sauce, and slammed it down on Pfanne's head, before removing the bowl, leaving just noodles and sauce on her head. Then, she picked up the apple she'd bought, and her tray, tossing the remains of what had been her lunch in the trash and leaving.

"Why don't you two go fuck each other? Leave Elphaba alone." She said, walking away. She passed Elphaba and Galinda; she gave Elphaba a small smile before taking a bite of her apple and exiting the cafeteria.

Instantly, the cafeteria exploded. Gossip flew like leaves on the wind, and Galinda decided that it was now or never.

"Can I join you?" Elphaba looked up at her, and shrugged. Galinda took that as a yes, and sat down across from her roommate. They sat in silence, Elphaba fiddling with the chain of her locket, Galinda finishing her lunch.

"So, how have you been?"

Silence.

"Okay. Um...I heard about Avaric. I'm really sorry, Elphie."

Elphaba looked up at her. Something like regret sparkled in her violet eyes.

"It couldn't be helped."

Galinda nodded, partially shocked at the fact that Elphaba was actually talking to her. Especially after Elphaba had ordered her not to address her in public.

"So.....when did you get that done?" She asked, nodding to the silver hoop in Elphaba's ear.

Silence.

"And the tattoos? When were those done? The locket looks like it's new, but the lily...."

Elphaba's eyes snapped.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you to mind your own fucking business?" Elphaba screamed, getting up and leaving the table. She pushed past a group of students and stormed out of the cafeteria, heading to the cafe outside Shiz. Galinda watched, and then finally, pushed her tray away, set her elbows on the table, and buried her face in her arms.

Making friends with Elphaba was going to be harder than she thought.

Much harder.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9. **

******Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

**A/N: Fiyero won't come in until about chapter....11...12...**

**Thanks to crazybeagle, and Elphaba1Fan for reviewing 8.**

_I wanted to be like you  
I wanted everything  
So I tried to be like you  
And I got swept away_

Elphaba wandered down the street, passing the cafe. She continued, passing shops and markets, until she came to a small bar.

She slipped into the bar, and went to the counter.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked. He eyed her for a moment, catching her violet eyes.

"Just...anything to make me forget the hell that's been my life." She replied, taking a seat. He nodded.

"Sure thing." He set a glass of green liquid in front of Elphaba.

Absinthe.

Without asking what it was, Elphaba picked it up and downed it in one throw. Blinking quickly, she shook her head, and set the glass back on the counter.

"You all right?" The bar tender asked, watching her carefully. Elphaba nodded slowly.

"Got anything else?"

In the end, Elphaba prefered absinthe to anything else, and spent most of her evening consuming it. It wasn't until Galinda- dragging Avaric with her- entered the bar. The blonde scanned the bar, before she caught sight of her green roommate.

"Elphie!" Quickly, she marched towards the raven head, Avaric behind her. "Elphie!"

Slowly, Elphaba turned. Her violet eyes were dialated, and she wore a goofy grin. A small giggle escaped her lips, as she held the glass of green liquid between her teeth.

"Elphie, what are you doing here?" Galinda asked, eyeing her roommate.

_"Nothing."_ Elphaba replied, giving a little giggle, before taking another sip.

"Is that..._absinthe_? Are you drinking absinthe?" Avaric asked, eyes roaming to the green liqueur in her glass.

"How...how the did you get that?" Galinda asked, really hoping that Elphaba wouldn't say that she ordered it. Suddenly, Elphaba took the glass from between her mouth, and looked down at it, eyes wide.

"I don't know. Maybe it just _jumped_ into my hands!" Elphaba said, laughing wildly. Galinda looked at Avaric, then went back to Elphaba.

"No. You ordered it. Now put it down, we're going home." She said slowly, reaching for the glass. Elphaba pulled away.

"No! My glass! You can't have it!" Elphaba said, hugging the glass of alcohol to her chest, and then ducking her head and taking a sip.

"Elphie! You're drunk! You don't need to be here drinking yourself to death, you need to be home, back in our dorm, resting!" Galinda cried. Avaric, backed up, and turned.

"I'll let you handle this, Galinda, you seem to have it under control, so I'll get you take care of--" He said, attempting to flee. Galinda grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Oh no you don't, you son of a bitch! You're the one who drove her to this, so you're going to be the one to fix it! I can't handle her by myself." Galinda said, pulling him back to the bar. They turned to Elphaba, who sat hiccuping. "Come on, Elphie. We're going home."

Elphaba pulled away, and returned to sipping the remains of what was in her glass.

"No. I'm not going anywher with you. I'm staying here. With people who undersand me." She said, turning away from the blonde.

"Elphie, they don't understand you. You're drunk." Galinda said. She then reached out, grabbed Elphaba's arm, and reached for the glass.

"N.....n...._NO_!" Elphaba screamed, as Galinda wrenched the glass from her hands and slammed it on the table, causing the remaining liqueur to slosh out of the glass.

"Come on, we're going home." The blonde said, pulling Elphaba from the stool and out of the bar.

_"NO! Let go of me! Let go!"_ Elphaba cried, pulling. Galinda held on. She dragged the raven head down the street, back to Shiz, Avaric following. The green girl put up quite a fight. Finally, she wrenched away from Galinda, turned, and walked back to the bar.

"Elphie!" Galinda called, before racing to catch up, Avaric behind her.

"NO! I'm not going back! No vody wants me! No vody ever has!" Elphaba called, as Galinda and Avaric caught up. Finally, they reached the green girl, and cornered her in the middle of the street, Avaric in front of her, and Galinda behind her.

"You're going back to Shiz with us, if we have to drag you back." Galinda said, grabbing Elphaba's wrist; the girl yanked away from her.

"No! I don't have to do what you say!" Elphaba screamed, crossing her arms and pouting.

"Avaric!" Galinda begged, looking at the guy who'd caused Elphaba to get drunk in the first place. He sighed.

"I'm sorry Elphaba. But this is for your own good." The green-skinned witch turned to him, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"What is?"

Without another word, and faster than Elphaba could blink in the drunken state, Avaric grabbed her around the waist, and threw her over his shoulder. He then carried her back to Shiz.

_"Put me down! You astard! Put me down! Fucking don oda ditch! Put me down!"_ Elphaba screamed, kicking and screaming. She beat against his back, as he carried her back to Shiz.

When they got to Crage Hall, Galinda pulled her upstairs and into their dorm, closing and locking the door behind them. Elphaba pulled herself away, and stumbled to her bed. She crashed against the bed, and sank onto the floor. Tears slipped down her cheeks, and Galinda watched, as the green girl pulled her knees to her chest, pressed her forehead to her arms, and sobbed.

Sighing, Galinda sat next to her roommate, and hesitantly reached out, rubbing her back. The green woman didn't push her away.

She didn't do anything, but sob.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10.**

******Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

**A/N: I'm going to up the rating to M, because now, the story gets into drugs, and Elphaba just goes downhill from here. Okay? I hope you all still come back to see if Fiyero does save Elphaba.**

**Thanks to crazybeagle and Elphaba1Fan for reviewing 9.**

_I didn't know that it was so cold  
And you needed someone  
to show you the way  
So I took your hand and we figured out  
That when the tide comes  
I'd take you away_

The next afternoon Elphaba kept her distance.

She didn't say a word to Galinda, didn't even acknowledge that two nights earlier had happened.

In fact, she spent most of her time outside of Shiz, at the small cafe or roaming the streets. It was later that night, as she was getting ready to go to a dance at the Ozdust, that Galinda decided to get her to talk.

"Elphie?"

Elphaba ignored her, concentrating on threading her earring through the hole. The green woman was dressed in a short black skirt, a low cut top, and high heels. Her long raven hair was tumbling over her shoulders in soft waves, and her make up was done in dark purples. The locket hung around her neck. She grabbed her purse, and left. Groaning, Galinda followed.

The Ozdust was packed.

Galinda was able to keep a good eye on Elphaba for the first thirty minutes they were there, until Elphaba slipped out of sight.

"Galinda!" The blonde turned, to see Milla hurry to her.

"Did you come with Elphaba?" The redhead asked. Galinda nodded.

"I...I just....saw her." Galinda said, looking around for the green girl.

"She's not at the bar, I was just there." Milla told her. The blonde grabbed her friend's wrist, and pulled her along.

"Come on. We have to find her. She got really drunk a couple nights ago, and thank Oz Avaric and I got there before she could hurt herself. If we don't find her, she could get into even worse trouble."

So the girls searched for Elphaba. They looked for two hours, not finding a hint of the green girl.

Meanwhile, Elphaba was in the bathroom. She washed her face, and sighed, fingering the locket.

"You look like you could use something to calm your nerves." Elphaba turned, to see a young woman about her age, dressed in a lowcut halter dress. She had short, gold platinum blonde hair, and amber eyes.

"Yeah, I could." Elphaba said.

"I'm Snickatora." The girl said, holding out her hand.

"Elphaba." The two girls shook.

Then, Snickatora held out a joint.

"Want one?"

Elphaba didn't think twice.

"Sure." And she took it.

"Did you find her?" Galinda asked, as she met Milla at the bar. The redhead shook her head.

"No." I checked the bathroom, the dance floor, every corner of this place. She's not here."

"And she's not outside." Galinda said, sitting down at the bar. "How could she do this? I was watching her. She could get hurt. She almost got hurt two nights ago."

"We can't give up. She's got to be somewhere." Milla said, squeezing her friend's hand.

"So, what're you majoring in?" Snicka asked, as the two girls sat out back behind the Ozdust, smoking. Elphaba had never tried drugs before, so the joint was new to her. The first few puffs were strong, but soon, she got used to the dizzying feeling in her head.

"Sorcery and Theater. You?"

"Medical Science."

Elphaba nodded, her head buzzing.

"Elphie!" Elphaba's head snapped up, at the sound of Galinda's voice. Taking one last puff on her joint, she dropped it to the ground and crushed it, before standing and turning to Galinda.

"What do you want?"

"There you are. I was worried. Come on, let's go." Galinda said, going to her roommate. Elphaba turned back to Snicka, who stood, and took her hand, shaking it. She'd slipped a pack of cigarettes into her hand, and Elphaba slipped them into her purse. Then, she followed Galinda. The blonde sneered at Snicka, and led Elphaba back to the dorm.

When the girls got back, Elphaba pulled away from Galinda and slumped on her bed.

"What were you doing out back behind the Ozdust?" Elphaba looked up at Galinda.

Elphaba sighed, and got up, going into the bathroom. She locked the doors behind her and started the shower.

Letting out a scream, Galinda threw herself on her bed and beat the goosefeathers out of her pillow.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11.**

**A/N: And now, the entrance you've all been waiting for......**

**A/N: Sorry, I forgot to add the lyrics for 11-13, so I'm adding them now.....**

**Thanks to populardarling**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Elphaba pushed open the door to the cafe outside Shiz.

She looked around, until her eyes landed on her usual table. Someone was sitting at her table. Sighing, she walked toward them, and stopped, casting them in shadow.

The person sitting at her table looked up.

He had sandy hair that flopped into his eyes, and piercing blue eyes that could make you go weak in the knees. Tan skin, and diamond markings down the right side of his body; obviously of Vinkun descent; royalty.

The man looked up, to see violet eyes staring at him. Piercing violet. Long, thick ebony hair, a long, slender nose, and full lips. And harlequin green skin. She was beautiful.

Slowly, the violet eyed beauty leaned down, until they were inches apart.

For a moment, he thought she was going to kiss him. Instead,

"You're _in my spot_."

He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh am I? I didn't see your name on it."

Elphaba glowered at him.

"It's my table. I _always_ sit here. The table in the middle, diagonally across from the door. This is_ my_ seat. Ask anyone who works here, they'll vouch for me. I'm always here. Always. And when I'm not, I'm usually here the day after. This is _my_ table. Now I'd be happy if you moved."

He chuckled, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"You would?"

"Yes, I would." She replied, arms crossed over her chest.

He set the book he'd been reading on the table, and raised his hands.

"Well, tough luck, baby, I'm not moving."

"Ex_cuse_ me?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"You heard me. I'm not moving."

"Yes you are."

"If I remember correctly, you weren't here when I got here, so you can't claim that this is actually your table." He said, smirking at her.

She clenched her jaw.

_"It's. My. Table. Move."_

He chuckled.

"No."

She slammed her bookbag down on the tabletop, and pressed her palms to the wood surface, leaning close to him. Her violet eyes snapped, long, ebony locks tumbled over her shoulder, as the gold chain holding the oval locket around her neck dangled between her breasts. Her soft, harlequin green lips parted slightly, and he caught the scent of smoke on her breath. The top she wore clung to her body, accenting her already tiny waist. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a black manicure on her nails.

_"Yes."_

"This isn't your table." He replied. The way she narrowed her eyes was actually kind of cute.

In a hungry tigress kind of way.

He sighed, and closed his book.

"Look, you can sit down if you want." He said, gesturing to the empty chair across from him. Elphaba followed his gaze, slowly turning her head to stare at the empty chair. Then, she turned back to look at him.

"I don't want to sit down with you. I want my table back."

He puckered his lips and growled softly at her.

"And I told you, it's _not_ your table."

Silently, Elphaba picked up her bookbag, pulled out the chair, and pluncked herself into it, arms crossed. The two sat in silence, glaring at each other. Finally, he held out his hand. Elphaba eyed it suspiciously, before shaking.

"I'm Fiyero."

"Elphaba."

They continued to glare at each other, both refusing to break. Finally, she sighed. As she gathered up her things, she said,

"Fine. _You_ can have my table. _Today._ But _only_ today. After today, I get my table _back_, got it?" She said, glaring at him. He smirked.

"Got it."

"Are we clear?" She asked, still not convinced. He nodded.

"Crystal."

She eyed him one last time, before turning on her heel and leaving the cafe. He watched her go, the memory of her violet eyes burned into his memory for eternity.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

**Thanks to populardarling for reviewing 11.**

_I'm sinking slowly  
So hurry hold me  
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on  
Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone_

Two days later, Fiyero was sitting at a table in the cafeteria near the window.

He'd made a couple friends over the last couple days, and now the three men sat talking. Silent, he watched as Elphaba got something in the lunch line, and then walked past them to a nearby table.

"Hey, what are you looking at?" Fiyero looked up, to see Crope standing across the table from him. Tibbett had already slid into the inner chair across from him.

"Nothing." Fiyero said, waving it away.

"No, you were staring at someone. Who was it?" Tibbett asked. He endured their bantering for a few minutes before he finally spoke up.

"Hey, what's the deal with that girl?" He asked, nodding to Elphaba's table.

"What girl?" Crope asked.

"The green girl. Elphaba."

By now, both Crope and Tibbett were looking at her.

_"Her?"_ Tibbett asked, looking back at Fiyero as if he had grown a Quoxwood tree from the top of his head.

"Yeah. Her."

"Well, I heard she has a lot of problems. Like....major." Crope said.

"Can you say cukoo?" Tibbett asked, crossing his eyes and sticking his tongue out. Fiyero sighed.

"How do you know? Have you ever talked to her?"

"No, but rumor has it, that she killed her mother." Crope said.

"She didn't kill her mother, she _witnessed_ someone killing her mother. When she was about four or so." Tibbett clairifed.

"Whatever. Point is, it screwed her up, big time. She's got all sorts of pshycological issues. Thinks she sees her mother's murder everywhere. Galinda said that the day they moved into thier dorm, the mirror in the bathroom was cracked, broken into a million pieces. And that Elphaba's been sneaking out at night to have sex with random strangers--"

"I heard she only had sex with Avaric."

"Who's Avaric?"

"This guy in our Life Sciences class. He's some rich kid from the City. Apparently, he asked her out, and later that night, people said they saw Elphaba climb into Avaric's dorm room. Then, they saw her climb back into her dorm a few hours afterwards."

Fiyero took a sip of his coffee.

"Really?"

The other two shrugged.

"I heard he dumped her, and she got so upset about it, she went and got drunk on absinthe at a local bar. And when Galinda and Avaric went to get her, she put up such a fight that Avaric had to carry her back to the girls' dorm."

Fiyero sighed.

"And then, at this party at the Ozdust, she slipped away and started smoking a joint out back behind the Ozdust. I hear she's got a stash of drugs in her pillowcase."

Silence.

"Why do you want to know about Elphaba Thropp anyway?" Crope asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

Fiyero shrugged.

"I ran into her at this little cafe outside Shiz."

"You ran into her?" Tibbett asked. Fiyero nodded, taking a bit of his salad.

"Yeah. We had an interesting conversation."

Crope choked on his sandwich. When Tibbett finally got Crope to stop coughing, he asked,

"You_ talked_ to her?" He choked out, shocked.

"Yeah. Why is that such a shock?"

Tibbett and Crope looked at each other.

"Okay, first off, she's crazy." Tibbett said.

"You don't know that. It's just a rumor."

"Okay. Second, she doesn't like people. She doesn't talk to anyone." Fiyero raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Because she talked to me. She was actually quite friendly."

_Yeah, friendly like a viper is to a bunny rabbit._

Crope shook his head.

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

"You really talked to her?" Crope asked, glancing back at Elphaba. Fiyero nodded.

"Only you would dare to talk to the nutcase." He muttered, getting up and throwing the remains of his lunch away. Tibbett shrugged, and followed suite.

"See you later, man." Crope said, passing. Tibbett squeezed his shoulder before leaving. Fiyero sat at the table alone, watching Elphaba. She turned, and violet eyes locked with blue.

Yes, she was _quite_ friendly.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

**A/N: Don't worry, Fiyero will confront her soon......well, not _confront_, but talk.....**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Four nights later, Galinda came back to the dorm, to find Elphaba sitting on the window ledge, smoking.

"What are you doing?"

Elphaba ignored her. She sat staring out at the stars, occasionally taking a puff on her cigarette.

"Elphaba, what are you doing?"

Finally, the green girl turned to her.

"Is that all you do, ask questions?"

Galinda blinked.

"N....no."

"Really? Because everything that comes out of your mouth, minus the first thing you uttered on our first day here, have been questions."

"I..."

"Why do you try to but into my life so much? Did you ever consider that maybe I want to be left alone?" Elphaba snapped. The blonde cowered. Elphaba sighed, snuffed out her cigarette, grabbed her jacket, and left, slamming the door behind her.

She left Shiz, going to the bar she'd gone to the night she'd gotten drunk. When she slipped into the bar, she caught sight of Snickatora sitting at the bar. Quickly, she walked over and plunked down next to her. The blonde looked at her.

"Elphaba."

"Hey Snicka."

"What's wrong?"

"Never mind. Absinthe please." She told the bartender. He set a glass in front of her, and Elphaba drank it down in one gulp.

"Whoa, slow down, girl." Snicka said, watching her closely. Elphaba set the glass down, and looked at the girl. She set some money on the counter for the drink, and got up. "Hey! Where are you going?" Quickly, Snicka set some money down, and followed.

She got outside, and caught up with Elphaba.

"Hey! What's up?" Elphaba turned to her.

"Hey Snicka, you got anything stronger than a joint? I need something to make me forget." Snicka nodded.

"Yeah. I know a guys that's got some." And she led her friend down teh street into an alley off the side street.

"Jax, hey Jax. I've got another customer for ya." Elphaba looked around, finally spying a man in his twenties. He was scruffy.

"How much you want?" Jax asked.

Half an hour later, Elphaba was sitting on the floor of Snicka's bathroom, her arm out straight, a needle poised. As a precausion to disease, Elphaba had bought her own set of needles.

As she felt the first few pricks of the needle, her head started buzzing. Soon, the buzzing stopped, and Elphaba could breathe again. She looked up at Snicka.

"How do you feel?"

Elphaba gave her a small smile.

"Great."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14. **

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

**A/N: Sorry I'm so late updating. I was in Yerington helping my grandmother move into her new apartment, and was without internet access. But I'm back now, so I can catch up on some major updating!!!!!!!**

**A/N: Okay, the drugs in Oz are different than the drugs in our world. Drugs in Oz drain a witch's magic. Basically, the more drugs injested, the more magic drained. They don't affect the person's brain, they affect the person's magic. Okay? **

**Thanks to crazybeagle and Elphaba1Fan for reviewing 13, and crazybeagle for reviewing 11.**

**Now, to continue with our story......**

_All you wanted was somebody who cares  
If you need me you know I'll be there  
Oh, yeah_

Elphaba kept her growing addiction to smack a secret from Galinda.

The _last _thing she needed, was the brainless blonde bimbo trying to stop her.

So it was Thursday four months later, when Elphaba invited Snicka back to her dorm, for a much needed buzz after lunch.

"Your roommate won't mind?" Elphaba rolled her eyes.

"Please, she spends most of her time shopping; she's rarely home." The green girl snorted, and sat down across from her friend, pulling a bag of white powder out of her book bag. She handed Snicka the spoon, and then poured some of the powder into the bowl of the spoon, before using a lighter to melt it. After she filled her syringe (Snicka used her own needles), she held her arm straight, and pushed the needle slowly into her skin.

Instantly, the buzz started in her ears, and soon, she felt light as air. She let out a laugh, and removed the needle, placing it back in the bag she kept her needles in.

"O....kay........I am ooofickallly fuked up!" She cried, looking at her hands. The color of her skin swam in front of her eyes, and she crawled to Galinda's closet, pulled open the door, and disappeared inside. What seemed like an eternity (that was actually only twenty minutes) later, Elphaba emerged, dressing in one of Galinda's ridculous pink, poofy gowns, a pair of yellow heels, and a hideous blue bonnet with an orange feather in it.

"Well, whatcha think? Son't I look orgeous?" Elphaba asked, striking a pose. Snicka laughed, tumbling onto her back. Elphaba soon joined her friend, dissolving into a fit of laughter. Neither girl heard the door open.

"What is going on!?"

Elphaba turned, to see Galinda in the doorway, shopping bags in hand, mouth open.

Elphaba stopped laughing, eyes wide, and jaw dropped.

"Gilanda! What are you doing back? I thought you went.....spokking." Elphaba said, her words jumbled. Galinda raised an eyebrow.

"What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing? _And who's this_?" The blonde asked, dropping her bags and moving to Elphaba. She sneered at Snicka, who gathered up her things, and stood, shakily.

"N....nothing." Elphaba said, swallowing, the smack working rapidly through her veins; clouding her judgement and draining her magic. Then, as an afterthought,

"This is....Snicka....she's my friend.....and we're habbing.....coccee...."

"_Coccee_? You mean _coffee_?"

Elphaba nodded. Snicka laughed.

Galinda shook her head, then grabbed Snicka's arm, and shoved her out the door.

"Hey!"

_"Get out!"_ The blonde screamed, slamming the door and then wheeling on her roommate.

Elphaba was pulling the bonnet off her head. She yanked the disgusting orange feather out, and proceeded to undress, stuffing the feather into her hair, and then ripping the blue ribbons from the bottom of the bonnet and tieing them around her neck, like chokers. She then took the dress off, and ripped one of the bows off, before grabbing a safety pin, and pinning it to the back of her dress.

Galinda watched, not caring about the ruined dress or bonnet, but her roomate.

Elphaba was on something, but wouldn't tell Galinda what. There were no bottles of booze or alcohol, so it wasn't drink. However, there was a bag of needles and syringes, with a small bag of white powder on the floor with a lighter. Going over to it, Galinda picked up the bag of powder and sniffed it. She shrank back.

Elphaba, who had been dancing randomly around the room stopped and turned.

"Give that back! It's mine! Snicka got it for me!" She cried, rushing to the blonde and grabbing for the bag. The blonde held it out of reach.

"No!" She cried, shoving the green girl, who tumbled onto her rear. "Is this....smack? Are you doing drugs?"

Elphaba crossed her arms and pouted.

"No. It helps me.....for...get."

"Forget what?" Galinda asked.

Elphaba didn't speak, just reached up and squeezed her mother's locket. Then, she got up, grabbed for the bag again, and when Galinda wouldn't give it to her, stormed into the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her, and gazed into the mirror. Her mother's face materialized.

"Elphaba, what are you--"

_"Elphaba! Elphaba! What the hell are you doing in there?! Elphaba! Open up!"_

Her mother was interrupted by Galinda banging on the door.

"Noone of your buzzness, Glinda!" Elphaba snapped back. She looked back, but her mother had disappeared. She pulled the ribbon from her hair and leaned against the counter, head bowed, sobs wracking her body, as the orange feather floated into the sink.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15. **

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Fiyero looked up.

The green girl was fleeing across the green, head down, book bag over her shoulder.

Elphaba.

She was dressed in a short, black skirt, low cut top, and heels, her long, black hair pulled back in a ponytail. She passed other students, who stood huddled in groups, whispering about her. Soon, however, she disappeared out of sight.

He sighed, and went back to his book. She was a novel worth reading another day.

Thirty minutes later, Elphaba slipped into the alley, and held the money out to Jax.

"Glad you could make it, my little green firefly. How much you want?"

"An ounce. And anything else you got." She whispered.

"Very well." And he handed her another bag of smack, as well as one of heroin, and marijuana. "Enjoy, my little firefly." He said, as Elphaba slipped out of the alley, and down the street. She slipped into an abandoned corner, sat on the ground, and pulled out one of her needles. Then, she readied the syringe, held her arm straight, and slipped the needle under the skin. It took a few minutes before the other drugs settled down, but once the buzz in Elphaba's head stopped, she put her things in her bag, and headed back to Shiz.

"Hey, um.....Manek?"

The brunette turned, to see a green-skinned beauty with violet eyes standing behind him. She was dressed in a short skirt, and low cut top, her hair loose around her shoulders.

"Elphaba. Hi. What's up?" The girl licked her lips, and then spoke.

"I....was wondering....if...you wanted to come back to my place." She reached up and ran her hand down his bicep, a smile on her face. "We could....talk.....or..." And she whispered softly into this ear, her breath tickling his skin. A small smile soon grew on his face, and he pulled away from her.

"Sure."

"Great." And she stood on her toes, kissing him full on the mouth, before grabbing his hand and pulling him back to her dorm.

Two hours later, the two lay in Elphaba's bed, sweaty, tired, and ready to go at it again.

"Are you sure you want to...." He asked, as Elphaba nodded, took his head in her hands, and kissed him, before gently guiding his lips to her breasts. Her eyes rolled back into her head, as they soon became one once again.

_Elphaba.....don't. You'll regret it. This lifestyle. Don't, my sweet girl. Please, don't._

"I won't regret anything!" She cried, causing Manek to look at her with concern.

"Are you all right?" Her voilet eyes blinked, and she nodded, as the drugs in her system began to slowly slip away.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just...please, Manek, harder...."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

_Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone_

Elphaba's many flings continued throughout the rest of her first year at Shiz.

Almost all the boys had had a taste of the enchanting green butterfly with the violet eyes, lily tattoo, and golden locket hanging around her neck.

All except....

...Fiyero.

He found her intriguing. Enchanting. Mysterious.

The others said she was a nutcase, driven by an insane desire for attention. That she had a wild appetite, and prefered a different guy every night. That she didn't know the meaning of 'don't' and broke every rule in the book. That she did every kind of Ozian drug imaginable, and had a habit of getting mind blowingly drunk. That she snuck into her current lover's bedroom at all hours of the night and had wild, violent, dangerous sex until the two couldn't breathe, but always managed to slip out of the window and back into her dorm before seven a.m. rolled around.

People accused her of being mentally unstable, that she had murdered her mother, and that her father had stopped her from killing her sister and brother as well.

It was a rumor that couldn't be further from the truth.

It was one afternoon after Jazz that Milla finally confronted Elphaba. She'd heard the rumors, but wanted the truth from the raven head. Seeing as they had the same schedule, Milla figured she'd try to get the girl alone in the dance studio.

"Elphaba."

The girl in question turned, to see the redhead standing in the middle of the dance studio floor. A delicate black eyebrow rose, and she waited. When nothing further happened, she turned, and pushed open the dance studio door. Milla quickly rushed towards her and pulled the door shut. Elphaba wheeled on her, violet eyes snapping.

"What?"

"Um.....are....are the.....the rumors.....are they true?"

Elphaba looked at her like she was nuts.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

When she turned to push the door open again, Milla grabbed it, holding it shut.

"Yes, you do. Are they true? All of them?" Elphaba looked at her. The two girls stared at each other, before Elphaba spoke.

"You don't know the first thing about me!"

_Don't sweet girl. Please, don't. Tell her. She's trying to help you, my sweet girl. Tell her. _

"Leave me alone!"

And she pushed the door open, fleeing into the afternoon, leaving Milla alone.


	17. Chapter 17

******Chapter 17.**

******Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

**A/N: Fiyero comes in in the next chapter.....**

**A/N: Pills basically do the same thing drugs do in Oz. Drain magic. **

_I wanted to be like you  
I wanted everything  
So I tried to be like you  
And I got swept away_

Four weeks after the confrontation with Milla, Elphaba awoke, gasping for air.

Galinda was still asleep, and Elphaba lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Finally, she got out of bed, opened her window, and perched on the sill, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it, taking a puff. She watched the stars, silently pointing out the constellations as she smoked. When her cigarette reached the end, she snuffed it out, and got off the sill, going to the bathroom.

Elphaba spent as much- if not more- time in the bathroom than Galinda.

Silently, she closed the door, locking it behind her. Then, she leaned against the sink, head lowered. Her breath came in ragged gasps, and she looked up into the mirrors, tears trailing down her cheeks. Through her tears, she saw Melena, staring at her from the glass.

"My sweet green butterfly. What are you doing to yourself?"

"I'm trying to be like you." Elphaba said, tears dripping onto the counter. Melena shook her head.

"I don't want you to be like me, my little butterfly. You're not."

"Yes I am. I am you. I'm just like you." Sobs wracked her body.

"No you're not."

Elphaba nodded, and beat a fist on the counter, before she dissolved into harder sobs.

"Elphaba--"

"Elphaba? Elphie? Are you all right?" Galinda's voice broke through her confused mind, and Elphaba sprang upright, looking around frantically, before she pulled open the medicine cabinet. Her eyes frantically searched the wracks, before she grabbed the nearest bottle, pulled off the cap, and shook two small, blue pills into her palm. Then, she grabbed a glass, filled it with water, and downed them.

"I'm fine Glinda. Just taking a couple pills. I have a headache."

Silence. Then,

"Okay."

When Galinda returned to bed, Elphaba closed the cabinet, and set the bottle on the counter. Melena watched her.

"What did you take, my butterfly?" Elphaba shook her head, and looked at the bottle. She gave up trying to pronounce the name, and looked back at her mother.

"It doesn't matter. The point is...I took it, whatever it is."

"It could make you sick."

"I'm fine. You did it all the time! Took pills! Those...damn pinnobble leaves! If you can do it, why can't I?" Melena sighed. Elphab then unlocked the door, grabbed the bottle of pills, and returned to bed, slipping the bottle into her book bag.

The next morning, as Elphaba sat in Life Sciences, she couldn't help feeling jittery. She hadn't had time to shoot up before class, and didn't remember if she had packed her things. As she shuffled around in her bookbag, her fingers grasped the pill bottle she'd stashed the night before. Watching to make sure Dr. Dillamond didn't show up yet, she quickly and expertly unscrewed the cap, then reached two slender fingers inside, before pulling out four pills.

Quickly, heart racing, she pulled her hand out, grabbed her water bottle, and counted out the pills, before downing them and her water. She screwed the cap back onto her water bottle just as Dr. Dillamond entered. When she placed it back in her bag and returned to class, Elphaba felt better. Slowly, she glanced over her shoulder, to see Fiyero watching her.

He'd seen her take the pills, but didn't say anything.

He intended to when class ended.

He planned on confronting her and taking the pills away.

No matter how she fought him.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18.**

******Rifiuto: Non Miniera **

**A/N: I use a line from Comedy of Errors....**

**A/N:** **It's time for a little confrontation........**

**Thanks to crazybeagle and -greenTARDISgal- for reviewing 17.**

_I didn't know that it was so cold  
And you needed someone  
to show you the way  
So I took your hand and we figured out  
That when the tide comes  
I'd take you away_

Class ended, and students poured out of the classrooms.

Quickly, Elphaba gathered her things, and fled, shoving past people to get out the door. Fiyero followed.

The green girl raced through the green, so fast, people would have assumed she were flying on a broom. Soon, however, people noticed the Vinkun prince joining in in the chase; he tailed her, keeping a close eye, always a step behind her.

"Looks like he's the one chasing after her." Crope said, as he and Tibbett looked up from thier afternoon rehearsal- for thier Theater class- at the marble memorial benches, to see Elphaba speed by, her long black hair whipping out like a kite behind her, head down. Then, not a minute too late, Fiyero went speeding by, hot on her heels, his jacket open and flapping out behind him, as he raced to grab a hold of her.

It looked like a cat trying to catch a wild, rebellious raven, and most of the students stopped to watch the chase with interest. They passed Galinda, ShenShen, Pfannee, and Milla, who was gathering her dance things.

The girls looked up, to see Elphaba, rushing past. Then, two minutes later, Fiyero ran past.

"What the hell?" ShenShen raised her eyebrows.

"Looks like he can't stand not having a piece of the green slut." Pfannee said.

"Shut up, Pfannee." Milla said.

Tibbett sighed.

"Oh Fiyero, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into." He muttered, watching the two disappear from sight before returning to his script. "I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear."

It wasn't long before Elphaba got past Crage Hall. She was almost to the dance studio, when someone slammed into her back.

They tumbled, the person landing on top of her.

Neither noticed that they were the focus of the rest of the student body.

"What the fuck?! Get off me!"

Quickly, Fiyero got up, allowing the green girl to turn around and sit up. Her eyes landed on him, and she scowled.

"Oh, it's you. What the fuck do you want?" She asked, getting up. She leaned over, and gathered her things, giving Fiyero a nice view of her shapely little rear. Like any guy, he indulged briefly in the viewing of her rear end, before shaking his head violently, clearing his thoughts. When she finally stood and turned, Fiyero saw her stuff the bottle of pills back in her bag.

"Well?" She asked.

"Look, I'm sorry about the day at the cafe." He said, holding out his hand. Elphaba took it, and shook. Seeing his chance, Fiyero pulled Elphaba to him, and searched her violet eyes.

"What are you doing?" She asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"I've never seen eyes as beautiful as yours. Violet. They're gorgeous." He whispered, silently reaching out behind her, his fingers finding her book bag.

"Thank you." She whispered, as he quietly slipped his hand into her bag, and rummaged around for the bottle.

"Most girls don't have violet eyes. Mainly blue or brown, hazel. As far as I'm concerned, they're boring. Your eyes, however, are vibrant. They're not at all boring. They're exciting." He said, holding her close. Finally, his fingers closed around the small pill bottle, and he removed his hand.

"Is that all you wanted to say? To talk about my eyes?" She asked, searching his face for any sign of a lie.

"No." He whispered. "I wanted to do this."

And he leaned down, capturing her lips in his. Gently, then, roughly, he kissed her. His eyes closed and he savored the taste of her- coffee, blueberry muffins, and sugar. She tasted sweet and bitter at the same time. So caught up in the kiss, he boldly pressed his tongue against her lips, and eagerly- almost orgasmically- explored the tastes of her mouth. His tongue pressed against hers, and he soon felt her tongue exploring his own mouth. The kiss lasted for several minutes, and gently, tenderly, he bit down on her lower lip, causing a thrill to run up and down her spine.

Then, just as abruptly as he'd started the kiss, he ended it, pulling away, the pill bottle clenched in his fist. She gasped, her breath heavy.

"Well, you got what you wanted." She said, opening her book bag, and rummaging around, searching for the bottle. When her fingers grasped nothing but air, her head snapped up, so fast Fiyero thought she'd snapped her brain stem for a moment. Her violet eyes narrowed, and she dropped her book bag on the ground. _"Where. Is. It?" _

"Where is what?" He asked, hoping he appeared innocent. None such luck.

"My...my bottle. It's got my medication. I need it."

"Oh, you mean this bottle?" He asked, holding up the small pill bottle. Gently he shook it, the sound of the pills rattling inside. Elphaba's eyes widened, and she pounced, reaching for the bottle, which he held out of reach.

"Give it to me!" She slammed into his body, and he wrapped his free arm around her waist, as she reached, struggling to catch the bottle in her grasp.

"No."

"Yes! Give it to me! I need it!" She cried, standing on her toes, her fingers inches out of reach.

_Listen to him, my butterfly. You're addicted. Admit what I refused to. Please._

"You don't need it! You're addicted! You think you need it, but you don't." He said, pulling away from her and leaving. Her book and dance bag abandoned, she followed, racing to catch up.

The hunter had now become the hunted.

Finally, Fiyero made it to the Suicide Canal. He turned, standing on the edge, holding the bottle out over the water. Elphaba stopped several feet from him, horrified. He unscrewed the cap, tipped the bottle, and shook the pills into the water. Elphaba watched the first two small blue capsules hit the liquid, before she sprang.

"No!" Screaming, she ran to Fiyero, and tackled him, reaching for the pill bottle, as he tried to hold it out of reach.

The two were unaware of how close they were to the edge, and Crope, Tibbett, Galinda, ShenShen, Pfannee, Milla, and the rest of the students watched, as Elphaba and Fiyero tumbled into the canal.

A huge splash was heard, and Galinda, horrified, rushed to the canal edge, Milla behind her, as ShenShen and Pfannee stood rooted to the spot, laughing. Crope and Tibbett tossed aside their scripts, and rushed to help.

Galinda knelt next to the water's edge, searching for any trace of her friend. When neither surfaced, Galinda let out a sob, and buried her face in her hands.

Unbeknownst to the other students, Elphaba and Fiyero were engaged in a struggle under the surface of the water. Anyone who saw it would have thought it was a courting dance, the movements fluid, graceful.

Forty minutes passed, before Elphaba finally broke the surface of the canal, her long raven hair plastered to her forehead. She looked around quickly, and then reached out for the small pills floating down stream.

"Elphie?" Galinda cried, the raven head ignored her, and swam after the capsules. Her long slender fingers reached for the first one, and just as she got a hold of it, she was pulled under again.

"Let go!" She screamed, breaking the surface again, Fiyero behind her. The two struggled, and finally, Fiyero tossed the bottle further down the canal, before grabbing Elphaba around the waist and shoving her back onto the shore. He climbed up behind her, and sat, ringing the water from his shirt.

"Elphie? Are you okay?" Galinda asked, fussing over her friend. Elphaba pulled away, and turned back to the canal.

_"How could you do that?"_ She screamed, rounding on Fiyero.

_"It was for your own good!"_ He snapped, standing, as she followed. The two quarrelling students pushed past their peers, oblivious to everyone else.

_"You don't even know what my own good is!"_ She screamed.

_"I know it a lot better than you do! And pills are not for your own good!"_ He cried, rounding on her.

_"You don't know me!"_ She screamed.

_"I know that you need to stop this or you'll get hurt!"_ He said, grabbing her arm.

Big mistake.

Elphaba wrenched away, fire in her eyes.

_"Leave me alone!"_ She screamed, shoving him before storming off to her dorm. Fiyero watched her go, before looking back at Galinda and the others.

He'd pissed her off.

Big time.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19.**

******Rifiuto: Non Miniera**

**A/N: So, to catch up on the plot.....**

**Elphaba watched Frex kill Melena when she was six. That basically scarred the girl (remember the memory in the first chapter, and the freak out in the 3rd). Elphaba has basically suffered abuse (mental, emotional, phsyical) at the hands of her father from the time she was born, and, up until she was six, Melena was there to defend and protect her. But when Melena died, Elphaba had to fend for herself. She took the abuse from her father, and rebelled as much as she could while she was at Cowlen Grounds (remember the lily tattoo). So, when she gets to Shiz, she lets loose. Elphaba, basically, is trying to be like Melena (the wild sex, rebelliousness, etc). To Elphaba, it's a way of being close to her mother, without the memory of her murder. Everything she does in the story is basically a coping mechanism, to deal with the abuse her father put her through, and witnessing Melena's murder. **

**That's for the first six chapters. So, chapter 7-18 include:**

**Elphaba and Avaric basically start a fling- her sneaking into his room- resulting in the two having wild, insane sex. After their latest fling, Avaric tells Elphaba that they should stop their affair, and Elphaba leaves, not before Avaric tries to apologize, but Elphaba flees back to her dorm, where she has a small breakdown, and starts hearing her mother's voice. Then, the next day or so, Galinda joins Elphaba at her table during lunch, and tries to make conversation with her, that doesn't go so well. Meanwhile, Milla stands up to ShenShen and Pfannee, going so far as to dump her lunch over their heads and tell them to 'go fuck each other and leave Elphaba alone.' **

**Chapter 9 is when Elphaba discovers absinthe, which she gets drunk off of one night not long after Avaric breaks off the affair. Galinda- dragging Avaric behind her- finds Elphaba, and together, the two manage to get her back to Shiz. In 10, Elphaba gets introduced to something and someone that only further pushes her along-Snickatora and drugs- at the Ozdust. **

**She meets Fiyero at the small cafe outside Shiz, which results in an arguement over who the table belongs to. Neither gives in. Two days later, Fiyero tells Crope and Tibbett about his conversation with Elphaba, amid rumors swirling around the green girl. Four nights later, after a confrontation with Galinda, Elphaba sneaks out to the bar outside Shiz, meets up with Snicka, and gets introduced-and addicted-to smack.**

**Four months after that, is when Galinda discovers Elphie's addiction, after she catches Elphaba and Snicka in the dorm, acting like idiots (raiding her closet and laughing like lunatics) after shooting up. A few days later- after buying smack, heroin, and marijuana- Elphaba attracts Manek, and the two start a wild affair. Throughout the rest of the year, Elphaba's flings get longer and more frequent, causing rumors to swirl more than ever. **

**One afternoon after dance, Milla confronts her, wanting to help, but Elphaba resists. Weeks later, Elphaba locks herself in the bathroom, has a conversation with her mother, and starts popping pills. And the next day, Fiyero catches her popping pills in class, and confronts her afterwards, taking the bottle of pills and dumping them in the Suicide Canal, causing Elphaba to pounce, which causes them to fall into the canal, and struggle for the bottle. When they get back to the edge, a screaming match ensues, followed by Elphaba storming off to her dorm. **

**So, that's the plot/summary for 1-18. **

**Thanks to Elphaba1Fan and crazybeagle for reviewing 18.**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Galinda slipped into the dorm after a long day of shopping.

She checked to make sure Elphaba wasn't around, and then pulled something out of her bag, and went over, laying it on Elphaba's bed. Then, she slipped out of the room.

The bathroom door opened, and Elphaba came out, wrapped in her mother's robe. She went to her closet, and pulled out her clothes. As she turned to her bed, her eyes landed on the bundle and note laying in the middle of her pillows.

Silent, she reached out and lifted the paper, opening it and sitting down on the edge to read it.

_Elphie,_

_I know you've had a rough time the last few days. I'm sorry. So I got you something that should hopefully make up for the last few days. _

_I hope you like it. _

_Love,_

_Galinda_

She set the note down, and then took the package into her hands. With shaky fingers, she pulled the wrapping off, and pulled out the item.

It was a black, winged heart shrug- a shawl.

Setting it aside, she got dressed, and then pulled the shrug on, standing in front of the mirror.

_A little girl, running to her mother. _

_"Mama!"_

_Slender pale arms coated in a black shrug, made of soft silk, wrap around the child. _

_"There you are my little butterfly." _

_Tender kisses, loving hugs, the woman holds the four-year-old close. _

_"Mommy, what's a betterfly?"_

_"A butterfly? Well, they're little insects with beautiful, colored wings that fly."_

_"Are they made of butter?" _

_"No darling, that's just in the name." _

_"Oh. Am I a butterfly? Can I fly too?" _

_A laugh, that sounds like sleigh bells. _

_"You're my butterfly, darling. And, I hope you get to fly someday." _

_Two years later, she wears that same black shrug, as she tucks her daughter into bed, kisses her goodnight, and leaves. She wears that same black shrug as she confronts her husband, as they argue. She wears that same black shrug as he slaps her, pushes her. She wears the same black shrug as he raises the knife, and plunges it into her skin. _

_The knife cuts through her dress, slices through her shrug, snags on the material. And when he's done, he stands over her, her blood dripping like rubies falling into a glass. It stains the floor around her, and soaks into the black shrug. It stains the silk, hardening it, as it hangs in shreds on her mother's body. When her father turns, the little girl flees back upstairs......_

Elphaba let out a gasp, and removed her hands from the material. As she looked down at her hands, she saw blood coating her fingers and palms, dripping from between her fingers to the floor. A good look in the mirror, and the shrug is ripped to shreds, stained with blood, dripping rubies. A cry escaped her lips, and she ripped the shrug from her body, dropping it at her feet. Slowly, she covered her face with her hands, leaving blood on her harlequin cheeks. With a scream, she rushed to the bathroom, locking herself in.

Where Galinda found her, two hours later.

She went over, picked up the shrug, and then went to the bathroom door.

"Elphie?"

Sobbing met her ears.

_I hope you get to fly._

"Elphie? You okay?"

"Go...go away, Glinda."

The blonde didn't move.

"Elphie---"

"Just go away, Glinda."

"But Elphie---"

_"Please."_

"O....okay." Silently, she withdrew herself, folding the shrug and placing it in the back of her closet. Then, she went downstairs, intent on talking to Milla.

Three hours later, Elphaba slipped out of the bathroom, grabbed her jacket, and climbed out the window.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**Question: Elphaba has a brother?**

**Answer: yes**

**Question: Will we be seeing him?**

**_Answer_: yes, in this chapter actually....**

**Question: why does Elphaba call her (Glinda) Glinda, and why does she (Glinda) not correct her like she does Doctor Dillamond?**

**Answer: Elphaba basically calls her Glinda just to make her mad, and it doesn't work. And she (Glinda) doesn't correct her like she does Doctor Dillamond because she silently likes having a nickname that Elphaba calls her, plus, instead of it pissing her off like Elphaba hopes, it makes her feel like she's _actually_ Elphaba's friend, even though Elphaba refuses to have friends. **

**Question: Where is she going NOW?**

**Answer: you'll see.....**

**Thanks to -greenTARDISgal-, crazybeagle, and obsessive-elphaba for reviewing 19.**

_I'm sinking slowly  
So hurry hold me  
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on  
Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone_

Once Elphaba reached the ground, she slipped quickly out of Shiz, and headed down the street.

She didn't go to the bar like she normally would have, and she didn't go to Jax asking for an ounce of something. Instead, her feet took her to The Sir Chuffery Boarding School for Boys, a respectable boarding school for young boys.

Her younger brother Shell attended the school.

Shell, who was the youngest of three children.

Nessarose- Elphaba's only sister- was two years younger than her, and Shell was six years younger than Elphaba.

While Elphaba was the only one of Melena's three children to inherit her violet eyes, Shell, who was twelve, had thick black hair and grey eyes, like Nessa. He was the son Frex had desired, and got the run of the house from the moment he was born, and had lorded it all the more after Melena's death. While Nessa had been ashamed to admit she was related to Elphaba, Shell openly admitted she was his sister. He adored Elphaba and was distraught when she went of to Shiz, but was estatic when he found out that Elphaba was only a stone's throw away.

Elphaba had taken over as the mother figure for Shell, and he had followed her around like a puppy when he was little.

As she made her way down the street and into town, she kept an eye out for the school. After turning a few corners, she found herself standing in front of The Sir Chuffery Boarding School for Boys. Taking a deep breath, she walked up the steps, and knocked.

A young man opened the door.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"Yes. I'm.....I'm here to see Shell Thropp. I'm his older sister, Elphaba."

"Yes, well, come in." He led Elphaba into the foyer, and then went into a nearby room. Soon, the headmaster, Sir Chuffery-a balding older man with gold spectacles- came back, a young boy in tow.

"Ah, Miss Elphaba, is it? May I ask why you're here?" Elphaba scowled.

"Can't an older sister come visit her younger brother?" She asked.

"Yes, well, what do you plan to do?"

The girl grit her teeth.

"I'm going to take my brother out to dinner and then desert. Is that such a problem?" The man thought a moment, and then nodded, turning to the boy.

"Elphaba!" A young, twelve-year-old boy with raven hair and grey eyes rushed up to her.

"Hey Shell." She said, kneeling down to hug him.

Hlaf an hour later, Elphaba and Shell sat across from each other at the small cafe outside of Shiz.

"So, how's school going, Shell?"

"Good." He said, as he sipped his hot cocoa.

"That's good."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and then Elphaba paid the check and the two left, heading back to the Boarding School. Elphaba couldn't resist anymore. She pulled a cigarette from her pocket, and lit it, taking her time. Shell watched her for a few minutes before speaking.

"Elphaba? Have you always smoked?" The girl looked down at him.

"No. No always."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"No reason. It's just...."

"Just what?"

"It's bad for you." Elphaba rolled her eyes.

They had made it back to the school by now, and she turned to him.

"Well, here we are."

He nodded.

"Yeah. Elphaba?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do you smoke? Is it because you want to? Or is it for something else?"

"I want to, Shell." He shook his head.

"No you don't. Is it about Mama? Do you smoke because of her?"

Elphaba swallowed.

"No Shell."

That was the reason.

"Do you smoke because you miss her?"

"No Shell," Her voice was starting to thicken. "I don't smoke because I miss her. I don't miss her. I smoke because I want to."

He nodded, and hugged her; gently, she ran her fingers through his hair, and kissed the crown of his head, before pulling away. As he opened the door and headed inside, he stopped.

"Elphaba?"

She looked up at him.

"I.....I miss her too."

And he was gone.

Silent, Elphaba left, returning to her dorm. As she climbed through the window, changed into her pajamas, and climbed into bed, her brother's words sounded in her head. She lay there until she couldn't take it anymore, turned her face into her pillow, and wept.

_"I miss her too."_


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: I've never done drugs and never will, so I don't know the names for them, I only know heroin because kids got busted at my school every other week for bringing it to class, and then of course they'd do locker searches......**

**A/N: When it comes to Shell, he's basically the only _good_ thing Elphaba had back at Cowlen Grounds, he's what kept her sane when she was there. He knows what's going on, but not the extent that Elphaba's taken it, but don't worry, he does find out eventually.....**

**Question: Is Elphaba hallucinating?**

**Answer: Yes, she hallucinates a lot in this, because almost everything she sees or touches reminds her of something from her childhood, something from that night.....**

**Question: How could she (Galinda) have known her gift would trigger the same painful memory?**

**Answer: She didn't, and therein lies the problem. Elphaba has told her nothing about her mother's murder, and so Glinda basically is fishing in the dark, trying to think of things to make Elphaba feel better, without knowing that something she could give her could trigger something from her past. It's basically a game of Russian Roulette. **

**Question: But why is it called Suicide Canal?**

**Answer: background on the canal will be given in this chapter. (It has something to do with Melena)**

**Question: It sounds like struggle was from them fighting each other, not from the churning of the water (or did you mean for it to be both?)**

**Answer: Both. Elphaba trying to grab the bottle, Fiyero trying to keep it from her, and the water moving around them. **

**Question: Is she doing smack?**

**Answer: Yes**

**Question: isn't it time for professional help?**

**Answer: In any_ normal_ situation, yes. But remember, this _isn't_ a_ normal_ situation.....**

**Question: How long do you think this will be?**

**Answer: I'm not sure......**

**Question: But what about Nessie? Was she also witness, and how is she?**

**Answer: Both Nessa and Shell were upstairs asleep when Melena was murdered. Only Elphaba witnessed what happened in the living room that night. The arguing woke her up, and so, curious, she went downstairs, leaving the other two asleep upstairs. So both Nessa and Shell had no idea of what their father had done; Frex told them both that Melena had gotten drunk and committed suicide in front of him, and that he'd tried to stop her, so they accepted that explanation. Only Frex and Elphaba (and Melena) know the truth. And Nessa most likely won't be seen in this, she's still at home at Cowlen Grounds with Frex, because she's his little rose, while Shell and Elphaba are the thorns in his side, so he got rid of them by sending them off to school. But he decided to keep Nessa and have her tutored at home, he doesn't want 'filth' like Elphaba and Shell ruining his precious Nessarose. She's all right, being doted on by Frex as usual, you will hear mentions of Nessa because Elphaba does talk about her in this chapter. **

**Thanks to Elphaba1Fan and crazybeagle, and obsessive-elphaba for reviewing 20. And thanks to hot4edward for reviewing 4, 7, 9, 11, 13, 14, 16, 18, 19, and 20.**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Three weeks later, Elphaba sat at her table in the cafe, when Fiyero entered.

She looked up, to see Fiyero standing in front of her.

"Yes?" She asked. He sighed.

"Look. I....I'm sorry about....what happened at the canal."

She watched him for a minute, before gathering her things, putting them in her bag, and getting up, setting some money down for the check, and left. Fiyero sighed; talking to her would be harder than he thought.

Quickly, Elphaba walked back to Shiz, lighting a cigarette as she went. When she finally made it back to Shiz, she went to her dorm, and dropped her things off. Sighing, she sat down on her bed, and fiddled with her locket. The emerald rubbed roughly against her thumb, and her violet eyes welled with tears. Taking a deep breath, she got up, grabbed her bag, and left, going to the canal.

As she settled down under the cherry tree, she pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and then stared off into space. Her mind wandered back to a book she'd found in the attic back in Cowlen Grounds when she was ten. And old, worn, leatherbound diary.

Her mother's.

Melena's.

When she found it, she'd hidden it, taking it downstairs and hiding it in her desk. Now, she pulled the diary out and opened it. It documented Melena's life from the time she was ten until her death. She didn't read the last entry, she couldn't. It was the entry she'd written the night she died. Instead, Elphaba opened to an entry she'd written when she was at Shiz.

_May 15th_

_The Suicide Canal_

_Shiz_

_Classes today were torture. _

_The only classes I actually looked forward to were my dance and musical theater classes. We did Mosse today in Jazz, and then in Musical Theater, we had to do scene work. Katila and I worked together on this scene from The Wizard of Az, that film made back in the thirties. We got an A. Other than that, my day pretty much sucked. Tila forgot to wake me, so I was late to class, I failed my Life Sciences exam, and my Sorcery seminar was cancled due to an unexpected magical combustion. And to top it off, I got harrassed by Frex. Remember that kid I ran into the other day? Yeah, him._

_Self-ritious son of a bitch. _

_Called me a harlot, and told me I'd be lucky to get a husband by the time I graduated Shiz. Oh, how I hate him! He told me that I was never going to make anything of myself, and I'd be worth more if I jumped into the Canal. _

_Like I'd jump into Suicide Canal. Not after all the stories they tell about it. _

_How.....those young lovers were trying to flee the City, and decided to meet up at Shiz, back when it was a monestary. About how the girl got there before her lover, and how her intended gave her one more chance, how she turned him down, and in return, he slit her throat and dumped her in the canal. And how, when her lover got there, he found his lover's blood on the bridge with the knife and her scarf, and assumed she'd committed suicide. How he tied the scarf around his own neck, slit his wrists, and jumped into the canal after her. _

_How....that girl that lived in my dorm- yeah, Dorm 2003- back in the '60s was raped by a professor, and how she....came out at midnight on the night of the rape, tied a rope around the railing of the bridge, and jumped off, hanging herself as she dangled in the river. _

_Or, how that boy shot himself on the edge of the canal back in the '40s._

_Then again, maybe that would be best for me. No one would notice, if I just...went up to the bridge, and slipped off. Slipped beneath the water, no one would notice or even care. And the best part would be that I would never have to see that bastard, Frex again. _

_If I just....._

Elphaba swallowed.

Melena had known Frex in college? They'd gone to Shiz together?

Did she know then that he would kill her years later, when they'd married and had three children? That her oldest daughter would witness her murder, while her two youngest slept upstairs?

Did she know that Frex would do everything in his power to destroy his oldest, Melena's oldest? And that once she got to Shiz, she'd go down the same destructive path Melena went down, only worse?

Did she know or suspect any of what the future held for her?

Or had she been as innocent as she claimed?

Shaking, Elphaba closed her mother's diary, and placed it back in her book bag. Then, she got up, went to the bridge, and looked out into the canal, slowly putting a foot saw her mother, moving to the bridge, ducking under the rail, and putting a foot out. Her mother was right.

It would be _so easy_, if she just.....

Someone grabbed her waist. Elphaba let out a scream, and beat against him.

She was dragged from the bridge, back to the green. Finally, she was set on the ground and turned, to see Fiyero standing behind her.

_"Why did you do that?"_ Elphaba screamed, beating agaiinst his chest.

"What were you doing on the edge of the bridge?" He snapped.

"Non of your fucking business!"

He grabbed her wrists.

"Elphaba please! Just talk to me!"

With a good wrench, she pulled away, and stumbled back, losing her footing and falling back into the canal. Fiyero didn't think twice, before pulling off his jacket and jumping in. Finally, he grabbed Elphaba's waist, and broke the surface, helping her to the edge. Once they were back on dry land, Elphaba got up, went over, and got her book bag.

"Please Elphaba. Just talk to me."

_"About what? There's nothing to talk about! And like I'd want to talk to you anyway!"_

"I just...want to make sure you're all right!" He said.

_"I'm fine! I'm just fucking fine!"_ She screamed, storming off. Fiyero raced after her.

"Elphaba!" He grabbed her arm, and turned her to face him.

_"What?"_

"I'm worried about you."

She stopped struggling, and looked at him.

"Well don't be. You don't even know me. So don't be."

And she wrenched away, and stalked back to her room, leaving Fiyero watching.

She'd put up walls.

And it was going to take _him _to break them down.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22. **

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: happily ever after is a _long_ way off......**

**A/N: Glinda does something she shouldn't.....**

**Thanks to Elphaba1Fan, hot4edward, and obsessive-elphaba for reviewing 21.**

_All you wanted was somebody who cares  
If you need me you know I'll be there  
Oh, yeah_

Galinda looked up, to see Elphaba storm into the bathroom.

It was six weeks after the canal incident, and Elphaba had spoken to neither Galinda, nor Fiyero, nor anyone else for that matter. She kept to herself, cut classes to smoke or get high, popped pills, and spent time outside of Shiz at the bars or tattoo parlors. She didn't talk, and when she did, it was one or two words; when Galinda asked about her family, Elphaba clammed up.

Now, she watched the bathroom door slam, and heard the lock click. Sighing, Galinda turned back to her magazine. The words blurred and multiplied, until Galinda threw it across the room.

She got up, and wandered to Elphaba's side of the room.

Her eyes landed on Elphaba's book bag, and she sat down on the bed, opened the bag, and rifled through it.

Pens, pencils, notebooks, textbooks.

And a little, old, worn, leatherbound journal.

No, a diary.

Elphaba kept a diary?

Glancing quickly at the bathroom door, Galinda picked up the book, and opened it up.

_September 16th_

_Mama gave me this diary to write down everything that happens in my life. This morning, when I went down for breakfast, Mama wished me happy birthday and held it out to me....._

This was Elphaba's diary? She'd gotten it on her birthday?

Quickly, she flipped through several more pages, finally stopping on a new entry.

_April 29th_

_I start Shiz next week! _

_Shiz University! _

_They actually liked me essay! I'm so excited! Mama told me that I'd enjoy college life, that it would do me good to get out of Cowlen Grounds. That she hopes I meet a nice young man and get married, maybe have some babies. Please, like I'm really the marrying type...._

_July 2nd_

_I'm heading home to Cowlen Grounds for the summer holidays. I'm so glad school is out. All I need is one more year......_

One more year?

Elphaba was a first year, she had another two years before she graduated.

_December 1st_

_Frex proposed! _

_And I...I actually said yes....._

_May 9th_

_My wedding night was....._

_I can't even begin to describe it...._

_January 16th_

_Just ended a meeting with the midwife. I.....I'm going to be a mother, come September. Frex is estatic, he's sure it's a boy. I hope, just to spite him, this baby is a girl....._

Finally, Galinda stopped at an entry that looked interesting.

_September 16th_

_My baby girl was born today._

_She's green. A beautiful shade of harlequin green, with thick black hair, and violet eyes. My eyes. She has my eyes. She's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. _

_Elphaba._

_My little Elphaba. _

_Frex loved her until he saw her skin. _

_"She's an abomination!" He cried, storming from the room. _

_He hates her. A father's not supposed to hate his daughter. But that doesn't matter. I love Elphaba. And that's all that matters...._

Another page, another entry. Over and over.

_October 10th_

_Nessa learned to walk, unsteadily, but she learned....._

_March 22nd_

_Elphaba came running to me tonight. Frex had hit her. No one hits my baby girl....._

_February 18th_

_I took Elphaba out to the meadow today. We made daisy chains and waded in the brooke...._

Never a day missed. The only problem was that there were no years on the dates, just the month and day. But finally, Galinda was able to understand the writer's dating method.

_September 16th_

_My little butterfly turned four today. _

_She looks so grown up in her dark blue dress, with her long black hair in curls. _

_I don't care what Frex says, she's beautiful...... _

_November 12th_

_Elphaba came running up to me today while I was out on the back verandah. _

_"Mama!"_

_So I knelt down and hugged her, lifting her into my arms and sitting in my chair. She snuggled down, pulling the extra material of my shrug around her, to keep her warm. _

_"There you are my little butterfly." _

_I kissed her, and she snuggled down, asking, _

_"Mommy, what's a betterfly?"_

_It took me a few minutes to figure out that 'betterfly' meant 'butterfly'._

_"A butterfly? Well, they're little insects with beautiful, colored wings that fly."_

_"Are they made of butter?" _

_I couldn't help laughing at her innocence. She's adorable._

_"No darling, that's just in the name." _

_"Oh. Am I a butterfly? Can I fly too?" _

_She's such a darling, and I laughed again, as she snuggled down and waited._

_"You're my butterfly, darling." I told her. "And, I hope you get to fly someday." _

_I really hope you do, Fabla, I really hope you do._

A shrug? Like the shrug she'd given Elphaba?

_May 3rd_

_I taught Elphaba how to curl her hair, she did such a good job, with only a few minor burns......_

_August 24th_

_My mother passed away today. _

_The funeral is tomorrow, only Elphaba and I are going......_

_March 8th_

_Nessa can walk steadily with leg braces now, but she still prefers to use her wheelchair._

_We tried to get her to say 'Fabala' or 'Elphaba', but she refuses, saying 'Fabla' when she wants her sister....._

_September 15th_

_My son was born tonight. _

_Elphaba's named him Shell....._

Finally, she turned to the last page.

_September 16th_

_My little butterfly turned six tonight. _

_She's growing into quite the young lady. _

_Her long ebony hair is already to her lower back, and I love to sit and braid it in the evening light after supper. For all her harlequin green skin, she's a darling-when she wants to be. She's such a good helper, helping with Nessa when I need her too. I think she treats Nessa like her own daughter, sometimes. I had hoped Fabla would treat Shell like her own also, and she has, she loves him deeply. _

_I want her to grow up, go to school, graduate university, take over as Eminence. Well, maybe not that. She would be able to handle it, but she would be miserable._

_No, not that. _

_No matter what Frex says, she deserves happiness. __I want her to build the life with the man she loves, like I did. I know it doesn't seem like I love Frex, but I do. With all my heart and soul. _

_I want her to go to school, and meet a boy. A nice boy, who loves and respects her. And I want her to marry him, and have children with him. So many babies she won't be able to keep track. I want to be there at her wedding, watch her walk down the aisle, kiss her groom, watch her ride of into the sunset with him. I want to be there when she has her first child, and her second, and her third. I want to be there when she becomes a grandmother herself. __But I know that won't happen. _

_Tonight, after supper, I tucked Shell and Nessa in, and then followed Elphaba upstairs. I sat on her bed and watched her get ready for bed, and then she climbed into my lap. As soon as she settled down, she started playing with my locket; she loves it so much. So I gave it to her. _

_"It's pretty, isn't it?" I asked. She nodded, snuggling closer to me. "Do you want it?" _

_She nodded again. So, I reached up and took it off, before having her sit up. Then, I put it around her neck. Once I made sure the necklace was secure, I pulled away. _

_"There, now it's yours."_

_She didn't look at me. She just played with the locket, running her little thumb over the emerald in the middle. _

_"Elphaba." _

_Her head snapped up, and I found myself looking into her eyes, my eyes. Those beautiful violet eyes. _

_"I want you to have it. Keep it close to your heart, always. And always remember that I love you." _

_"But mommy--"_

_"Because I won't always be around. Someday you'll be an adult. And you'll fall in love with a man. And I don't care how much you love him, or how scared you are, if he's hurting you, I want you to get out. Okay? No matter how much you love him, get out. Okay? Because anyone that hurts you doesn't really love you. Okay?" _

_She nodded; not understanding, but trying to, I could tell. I feel so bad for doing this, as I hugged her, I actually reconsidered. _

_"Time for bed, my butterfly." Elphaba nodded, crawled off my lap and under the covers. I tucked her in, and kissed her forehead, relishing the scent of her, of my baby, before I left. I turned back at the door, and watched my little girl. _

_"I love you Elphaba." _

_I barely caught her whisper._

_"I love you too, Mommy."_

_Now, I'm sitting here, on the floor outside my daughter's closed bedroom door, writing this. I can't take it anymore. I tried running, taking the girls and leaving, but he convinced me to stay. I love Frex with all my heart, but..... if he hurts Elphaba one more time, I'll kill him. He's hurt my baby girl one too many times. I'm gonna confront him, he can't keep doing this! He treats my little girl like dirt under his feet, he tries crushing my innocent little butterfly in his fist.....I'm not going to stand for it anymore! I've protected Elphaba the best I could, but it's never been good enough. Well tonight, it'll be good enough, as good as it can get._

_If it kills me, I'll protect my little girl. I swear I will......_

_"What the hell are you doing?" _

Galinda looked up, to see Elphaba, dripping wet, wrapped in her mother's robe, standing in front of her, eyes blazing.

"Elphie, I---"

In one quick motion, Elphaba rushed up, grabbed the diary from Galinda's hands, and held it to her chest.

"Going through my things!"

"Elphie, I didn't mean--"

"Do you ever mind your own business? This is my _private_ property, not yours. You have no right to touch it! Any of it!"

"Elphie, I'm sor--"

_"Don't touch my things! And leave me alone!"_

Galinda watched, as Elphaba grabbed her bag, a change of clothes, and rushed to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, she hung her robe in her closet, and climbed out the window in her nightgown and jacket, the bag over her shoulder, and her locket around her neck, the diary in her arms.

Galinda shook her head, and changed into her pajamas, the last part of the diary entry flashing before her eyes.

_I'm going to put this in the attic, Frex can't know I've saved it for Fabla. If he finds out, he'll burn it, I know he will. This is my Fabla's, my little girl's. I hope to the Unnamed God Elphaba doesn't wake up. Because I'm not going to survive this night, and I don't want her to see me if I don't. She's my baby, and I need to protect her as much as I can from that monster. _

_I love you, my little butterfly. _

_I always have, and I always will. _

_I love you, Elphaba. _

_Love, _

_Mama_


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated, I've been getting ready for classes to start, and had a lot of crappy stuff happen so I haven't updated this one...until now! **

**A/N: It's sad, when I _actually_ have to go back and read my own story to figure out where I left off.**

**A/N: Anyone up for a fairy tale?**

**A/N: Fand is the Celtic goddess of health and earthly pleasures. She was known as 'The Pearl of Beauty.'**

**Question: WHY OH WHY MELENA?**

**Answer: she's a mother.....**

**Question: when is Elphaba going to let them (Galinda and Fiyero) help her?**

**Answer: it will take a while.....slowly but surely....**

**Thanks to lizziemagic, -greenTARDISgal-, obsessive-elphaba, Elphaba1Fan, crazybeagle, Dolphin0150, ToThoseWhoGroundMe, and witch-of-the-west9482 for reviewing 22.**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Barefoot, Elphaba wandered through campus, the diary clutched tight in her grasp.

She made her way to the woods, entering, not caring who saw or if she got caught. Finally, she made stopped, sitting under a tree. Her head resting against the bark, she closed her eyes, breathing deep.

Galinda had read her mother's diary.

_Galinda._

No doubt it would probably be all over the school tomorrow that Elphaba's mother had been abused, and that she herself was the victim of abuse at the hands of her father. She swallowed, feeling the tears slide down her cheeks, before she opened her eyes and got up, taking her things with her. She wandered around the woods, finally coming to a lake. Her bag dropped to the ground, and she let the diary fall. Slowly, she began undressing, moving closer and closer to the edge of the water.

In one swft movement, she had dived under the water, her skin wrapped in the bubbles and ripples being made by her movement. When she broke the surface, she found herself in the middle of the lake, the cold chilling her bones. It didn't matter, she didn't even register the iciness of the water. Being in the water took her mind off Galinda's betrayal, off the years of abuse she'd been through, off her mother's murder.

She tilted her head back, looked up at the full moon, before ducking beneath the water again. Eyes open, she watched the bubbles float in front of her, watched the fish swim around her, saw her long raven hair float out around her. Finally, she broke the surface again, to see the moon watching her, the reflection rippling on the smooth glass surface.

The locket rested against her skin, the metal cold and dripping. Slowly, her fingers reached up, taking hold of the locket, her thumb playing with the emerald.

The moon shimmered, winking at her.

_"Mommy, where are we going?"_

_"You'll see." _

_"But Mommy--"_

_The older woman leads the five-year-old by the hand, as the two run through the woods, towards the lake. Their bare feet barely imprint the soft earth. Finally, the woman stops, pulling the little girl close to her._

_"Mommy, where are we?" _

_Slowly, the woman kneels down, pulling the girl close. She points towards the middle of the lake._

_"See."_

_"The moon!" _

_A small smile graces the woman's lips. _

_"Yes. Now look up." _

_She watches her child raise her head, sees the girl's eyes widen._

_"Mommy, two moons!" _

_"Not quite, my butterfly." _

_"Why are there two moons, Mommy?" _

_She meets her little girl's violet eyes. _

_"There aren't two moon, sweetie. That's the moon."_

_"Then how does it get in the water?"_

_Oh boy. How do you explain the world of science to a child?_

_Biting her lip, the woman sits on the ground and pulls the girl into her lap._

_"Well..... it's her window."_

_"Window?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Why does she need a window?"_

_"She needs a window to watch over everyone. See, the moon is really a witch in disguise."_

_"A witch? Like the scary ones in stories?" _

_She shook her head. _

_"No sweetheart. She's a good witch. See, originally, she was this beautiful girl, with pale white skin, long black hair, and deep violet eyes."_

_"Like ours?" _

_"Yes. Like ours. And she lived in this far off land, known as the Vinkus. She was a princess." _

_The little girl's eyes widened. _

_"A princess? Did the prince come and take her away?"_

_"No. See, her father hated her, because of her eyes. So, she spent her time in the village, learning magic from the local priestesses. As she got older, she learned to harness her power, and soon, the priestesses took her into their cult."_

_"What's a cult?" _

_"A cult.....it's like a coven."_

_"What's a coven?"_

_The woman pursed her lips. _

_"A coven is..... a family. Of witches." _

_"Oh. Bad witches?"_

_"No. Bad witches live alone. Only good witches live in covens."_

_"Oh. Okay."_

_"Now, the princess became a member of the priestesses' coven, and she learned to do good with her powers. The people in the village respected and loved her; only her father hated her-." _

_"Could her mommy do magic too?"_

_"No. But she loved her daughter very much. Now, as the girl got older--"_

_"Did the prince come and take her away?" _

_"No. Now hush my butterfly, or I won't finish the story."_

_"Sorry Mommy."_

_"That's all right baby. Now, as the girl got older, she had to take a new name. A name worthy of a priestess. So she chose to be named Etfaltia, which means 'woman with the violet eyes'. It was said that the goddess who bore the name originally, was the goddess of streams, lakes, and brookes, as well as violets. And she watched over those who share her eyes."_

_"Like us?"_

_The mother nodded. _

_"Yes, like us. It's said, that those who bore the violet eyes are direct decendants of Etfalia, and that the Kumbrican saint, Aelphaba, was the daughter of Etfalia."_

_"The lady in the waterfall?" _

_Another nod._

_"Aelphaba is another name for Etfalia. And so is Elphaba." _

_She tickled her daughter, causing giggles to erupt, before pressing her forehead against the girl's forehead. _

_"Finish the story Mommy. The princess."_

_"Oh, of course, the princess. Well, with the taking of her new name, the princess became a priestess. She watched over the people of the village, and worshipped Etfalia, taking part in the Falia rituals. Now, the Falia rituals took place when the stars were extinguished. They took place in the woods, and the priestesses danced and performed magic to ask Etfalia to bless them and the villages, to bring strength to the rivers and streams that fed their crops. And it was on one of these nights, that a young man stumbled upon the ritual. This man was a prince from a distant land, who had come to the Vinkus in search of a bride. When he laid eyes on Etfalia, he knew he was going to marry her._

_A romance between the two soon sparked. However, her father discovered the relationship, and, desparate to keep his daughter from happiness, he banished the man from the Vinkus. Heartbroken, the priestess turned to her spells, falling deeper into magic, desparate to find a way back to her love. Her mission all but consumed her, and soon, she grew weak from lack of rest. In the dead of night, she fled the coven, running to the woods, with only the stars to guide her. _

_Heartsick, she collapsed in the soft earth, and begged Etfalia- her namesake- to destroy her. Of course the goddess could not do that, so she called on her daughter, on Aelphaba to end her life. For you see, Aelphaba was not only the goddess of the waterfall, but also goddess of heartbreak and death. She watched over those who suffered broken hearts, led those who passed from this world into the next, was the goddess of battle, as well as prophecy, and is said to wander the woods, her scream fortells death. Like her sister, Neskatilae- the goddess of the sea and destruction- she is associated with a body of water. When she disappeared behind the waterfall, Etfalia flooded the villages and towns, accusing the people of forcing her daughter into hiding. _

_The princess knew this, and called on Aelphaba to take her life."_

_"How could she if she was behind the waterfall?" _

_"She can still hear the prayers of her people. And hearing the princess's pleas, she looked down on the girl. Instead of fulfilling the request, she called on her brother, Shetvuno, the god of rain and travel. Hearing his sister's story, he parted the sky, allowing the rain to shower the young girl in the woods. Through the droplets, she saw the outline of a man, and climbed to her feet, hurrying towards him. When she reached him, he vanished-"_

_"Why did he go away?"_

_"Because he was only there to show her the way. Now, the priestess followed along the path the man had been standing on. She walked and walked and walked, for days, until she came to a bridge. Upon crossing the bridge, she found herself in a small village. At first glance, it was a quaint little village tucked on the other side of the Vinkun mountains. Soon, however, she discovered that it was town. The town her love had come from. So she searched, asking if anyone had seen her lover. But all she approached shied away, for none had seen eyes like hers. She was soon accused of witchcraft, and when it was discovered that she was a priestess, and did indeed practice magic, they chased after her, intent on death."_

_"Then the prince comes and saves her, right?" _

_"No. Unfortunately, my butterfly, there is no happy ending for the princess."_

_"But--"_

_"Let me finish the story."_

_"Okay."_

_"Thank you. Now, the townspeople captured her, and dragged her back to the town. She was tied to a stake, and soon lit ablaze. As the flames licked at her feet, she made one last prayer to Etfalia and her children, begging for death to come quickly. Instead, however, Alephaba sent two big black ravens to the princess's aide. They ripped at the ropes around her, freeing her. With a whispered word, Aelphaba brought the flames higher, creating a wall between the townspeople and the princess. The ravens carried the princess on their backs, spiriting her from the town, into the woods nearby. When the flames died down, the girl was gone._

_Once they were in the woods, the ravens let the girl down, and disappeared. Confused, the girl looked around, her eyes landing on a woman. As the woman got closer, she saw that it was Aelphaba herself. As beautiful as her mother, Aelphaba had long black hair, violet eyes, and skin the color of emeralds--"_

_"Like mine!"_

_Her mother laughed. _

_"Yes, just like yours, only darker. Now, she was dressed in a gown of black silk, spun from the petals of black violets. She carried a broom and an ancient spellbook, and had blue diamond tattoos next to her eyes, as well as one in the middle of her forehead-"_

_"What are the diamoonds for, Mommy?"_

_"Well, the diamonds are a sign of royalty. The royal family of the Vinkus wear them, but for goddesses, they mean something different. For a goddess, the diamonds are a mirror to the future. Possessing one on either side of the eyes and one on the forehead is a means to see what the future holds. Now, Aelphaba also wore a necklace of emeralds around her neck, the sacred jewel of the gods._

_The princess bowed, before looking up at the goddess. 'Kill me, please, I beg of you. I can't live without him.' Aelphaba didn't respond. Instead, she withdrew a small pouch from her sleeve, and emptied dust into her hand. With a breath, she blew it into the girl's face."_

_"What was it?"_

_"Magic. The dust fortold he prophecy of the person, it sparked blue for goodness happening in the preson's life, violet for badness. When the dust hit the girl's skin, it sparked violet, and Aelphaba knew what she had to do. 'Death is in your future.' She whispered, cupping the girl's cheek. Then, she set her broom down, opened the book, and chanted a spell. The girl's skin began to tingle, and she cried out. When it stopped, she looked down, to see her skin swathed in black silk. 'You are a witch, a priestess. You worship my mother, have taken her name. You were doomed from the start, from birth.' Aelphaba said, coming up to the girl. _

_'Those who bare the violet eyes are doomed, their prophecies fortell it. Happiness will come, but at a steep cost. You cannot live a normal life with those eyes. Those of our kind must hide, disappear into the darkness, like the smoke from a fire.' The girl fell to her knees, clutching her hair. A life without happiness? Without normalicy? She had to be lieing, but a goddess never lied. Quickly, she grabbed the hem of Aelphaba's skirt. 'Please, tell me what I have to do. Is there some way I can hide and still be seen, without being harmed? Is there someway I can live my life without losing my life? Please, I beg of you!' Aelphaba looked down at the girl, pity in her eyes. She knelt, releasing the girl from her skirt and lifting her to her feet. _

_'There is one way to live without harm.' 'Tell me, please! I will do whatever you ask!' Aelphaba's eyes moved to the sky, studded with stars, but no moon. 'For years, the people of this land have asked for a light to guide them, to keep them company at night. We have tried, but nothing has come of our efforts. Perhaps-' The girl understood, and jumped. 'I will do it. I....I'll become their light. Please, just....just let him know that I love him, and that I will always love him.' Aelphaba nodded. _

_'You are prepared to give up your life, for those that tried to kill you?' A nod. 'Very well.' 'Wait! When will I be able to return to earth? To him?' Aelphaba looked at her. 'The consequence, for this....never. You will watch him from afar. And if- the day comes that one of us- one of our kind- is accepted into society, into life, without harm, will be the day you can return to earth. If and only if.' The girl nodded. 'I understand.' 'Good.' _

_With another chant, Aelphaba transformed the girl into stars, and cast her into the sky, bringing the lights together to form the moon with a whispered spell. Once she was done, she picked up her book and broom, and turned her face to the heavens. With a blow of dust, she cast more stars into the sky, surrounding the girl, whispered 'Fand', and turned, disappearing with a shimmer of dust into the darkness."_

_"What's 'Fund' mean, Mommy?"_

_"'Fand'? It means 'The Pearl of Beauty', which is what Aelphaba called the moon. Now, the girl resides in the sky, using the water, watching over the people of Oz through her window, waiting for the day one of our own will be accepted into life, without fear of harm. Only then, can she return."_

_"Has it happened yet?"_

_"Not yet sweetheart. Aelphaba's prophecy states, one of our kind will be accepted not only by those around her, but also by the one who loves her truly. True love plays a role in her prophecy- when one of us finds her true love, the diamonds Aelphaba possessed on either side of her eyes and her forehead will materialize on her skin."_

_"How will she know he's the one?"_

_"Because, they will sparkle with dust, like stars. They will light his eyes, and both will feel complete, whole. Her skin will become swathed in black silk, and a necklace of emeralds will appear around her throat. She will become the image of Aelphaba, for one small difference- the diamond in the middle of her forehead will glow green. The spell will be broken, and the girl and her lover will finally live a normal life."_

_The little girl yawned, and snuggled into her mother's arms. _

_"Thank you, Mommy."_

_She kissed her daughter's forehead._

_"You're welcome baby girl." _

_A year later, the woman told her daughter the same story as she tucked her in. She finished with the same conclusion as she kissed her forehead, and said the same thing as she closed the door to her daughter's bedroom, but for one small difference. As she walked downstairs to confront her husband, she whispered, _

_"Please, break the spell, my butterfly. Please, I beg of you, break the spell, Aelphaba. Break the spell."_

Elphaba dunked under the water again, the memory clear in her mind. She held her breath, until every scrap of the memory had disappeared, like the ripples in the lake.

When she finally broke the surface, she swam back to the shore, dried off, and got dressed, sitting on the edge, her feet in the water. She watched the moon, feeling like the princess.

Lost.

Alone.

However, she wasn't.

She just didn't know it.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: Sorry, school started......college is crazy......**

**A/N: Okay, to recap........**

**Elphaba watched Frex kill Melena when she was six. That basically scarred the girl (remember the memory in the first chapter, and the freak out in the 3rd). Elphaba has basically suffered abuse (mental, emotional, phsyical) at the hands of her father from the time she was born, and, up until she was six, Melena was there to defend and protect her. But when Melena died, Elphaba had to fend for herself. She took the abuse from her father, and rebelled as much as she could while she was at Colwen Grounds (remember the lily tattoo). So, when she gets to Shiz, she lets loose. Elphaba, basically, is trying to be like Melena (the wild sex, rebelliousness, etc). To Elphaba, it's a way of being close to her mother, without the memory of her murder. Everything she does in the story is basically a coping mechanism, to deal with the abuse her father put her through, and witnessing Melena's murder. **

**Elphaba and Avaric basically start a fling- her sneaking into his room- resulting in the two having wild, insane sex. After their latest fling, Avaric tells Elphaba that they should stop their affair, and Elphaba leaves, not before Avaric tries to apologize, but Elphaba flees back to her dorm, where she has a small breakdown, and starts hearing her mother's voice. Then, the next day or so, Galinda joins Elphaba at her table during lunch, and tries to make conversation with her, that doesn't go so well. Meanwhile, Milla stands up to ShenShen and Pfannee, going so far as to dump her lunch over their heads and tell them to 'go fuck each other and leave Elphaba alone.' **

**Chapter 9 is when Elphaba discovers absinthe, which she gets drunk off of one night not long after Avaric breaks off the affair. Galinda- dragging Avaric behind her- finds Elphaba, and together, the two manage to get her back to Shiz. In 10, Elphaba gets introduced to something and someone that only further pushes her along-Snickatora and drugs- at the Ozdust. **

**She meets Fiyero at the small cafe outside Shiz, which results in an arguement over who the table belongs to. Neither gives in. Two days later, Fiyero tells Crope and Tibbett about his conversation with Elphaba, amid rumors swirling around the green girl. Four nights later, after a confrontation with Galinda, Elphaba sneaks out to the bar outside Shiz, meets up with Snicka, and gets introduced-and addicted-to smack.**

**Four months after that, is when Galinda discovers Elphie's addiction, after she catches Elphaba and Snicka in the dorm, acting like idiots (raiding her closet and laughing like lunatics) after shooting up. A few days later- after buying smack and marijuana- Elphaba attracts Manek, and the two start a wild affair. Throughout the rest of the year, Elphaba's flings get longer and more frequent, causing rumors to swirl more than ever. **

**One afternoon after dance, Milla confronts her, wanting to help, but Elphaba resists. Weeks later, Elphaba locks herself in the bathroom, has a conversation with her mother, and starts popping pills. And the next day, Fiyero catches her popping pills in class, and confronts her afterwards, taking the bottle of pills and dumping them in the Suicide Canal, causing Elphaba to pounce, which causes them to fall into the canal, and struggle for the bottle. When they get back to the edge, a screaming match ensues, followed by Elphaba storming off to her dorm. **

**So, to add 19-23:**

**In 19, Galinda gives Elphaba a present- a black shrug- hoping to make friends with the girl. Instead, all her gift does, is trigger a painful memory of her mother's murder. The memory is of Melena wearing a similar shrug the night of her murder. She removes her hands to see blood coating her hands, and, screaming bloody murder, she rips the shrug off, leaving it on the floor, as she flees to the bathroom, locking herself in. Galinda finds the shrug on the floor later, goes to the bathroom, only to be told to go away. After she leaves, Elphaba slips out of the bathroom, and leaves the dorm through the window. **

**After she leaves Shiz, she goes to The Sir Chuffery Boarding School for Boys, the school her twelve-year-old brother, Shell, attends. Shell adores his sister, looking up to her as the mother he never had. Elphaba takes Shell out for dinner, and afterwards, they return to the school. Elphaba pulls a cigarette out during the walk, and starts smoking, to which Shell asks why. Elphaba tells him that she smokes because she wants to, not because of Melena. When the two hug goodbye, Shell tells Elphaba that he misses Melena too, essentially seeing through her ruse.**

**Three weeks later, Fiyero meets Elphaba at the cafe, and apologizes for the day at the canal. Elphaba goes to the cherry tree by the canal, and pulls out her mother's diary, reading an entry Melena wrote about the Canal. She goes to the edge of the bridge over the canal, and steps out to jump, only to be pulled back by Fiyero. She wrenches away from him, and falls back into the canal; Fiyero dives in after her. Once they're back on dry land, Elphaba grabs her stuff, yells at him to leave her alone, and storms off. **

**Six weeks after the incident, when Elphaba locks herself in the bathroom again, Galinda rummages through Elphaba's things, finding and reading Melena's diary. Elphaba catches her, grabs the diary away, and leaves the dorm, going to the woods. Once in the woods, she goes to the lake, strips down, and skinnydips, breaking through the surface of the water, to find the moon looking down on her. The memory of Melena taking her to the woods and telling her the story of the princess that became the moon breaks to the surface, and she dives back under the water, destroying the memory. Once she's done, she returns to shore, dressing and sitting alone, thinking. However, someone's watching, but Elphaba doesn't know that. **

**That's the plot so far. Any questions?**

**A/N: The story of the moon is the same in both Vinkun and Munchkin culture, just with different names for the characters- like Roman and Greek culture.**

**Question: what does "Rifiuto: Non Miriena" mean?**

**Answer: Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**Thanks to obsessive-elphaba, Elphaba1Fan, lizziemagic, and Dolphin0150 for reviewing 23.**

_Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone_

Fiyero sighed.

She was such an enigma, a mystery he couldn't solve, because she wouldn't let him.

She was the book he had started, but had yet to truly get into. Only the first few sentences in, and he was already confused. Normally, he was able to guess the outcome of a novel or problem a few steps or pages in, but with her, it was a surprise with every turn of the page, each sentence brought something new and shocking. Now, all he had to do was get through the plot, so he could discover the happy ending on the last page.

But it wasn't going to be easy.

Now, he sat watching Elphaba watching the moon. He wasn't stalking her, in actuality, she was stalking him- she just didn't realize it. Fiyero spent most of his nights in the woods, watching the stars and pointing out the constellations. The lake was his favorite spot, when the moon reflected off the water. Of course, he knew the legend of the moon and how she came to be. Everyone in the Vinkus did.

How the young priestess had fallen in love with a foreigner, who was later killed; how the priestess raced off to the woods, and begged Etala to kill her. Instead, her daughter, Efleda, showed the girl a light that led to a village, where her love had lived. She was captured and burned at the stake, or so thought. Instead, two huge black crows came and freed her, taking her back to the forest. When she was set back on her feet, she cried for Efleda to bring death to her. However, Efleda refused, instead asking the girl to become the moon, to guide and watch over the people of the Vinkus.

The prophecy stated that if a girl who held the violet eyes ever fell in love with a man that loved her for her- all of her- the spell would be broken, and the moon could return to earth, as the girl she had once been. But the prophecy had never been fulfilled; most thought it never would be. But now, watching her from a distance, Fiyero wasn't so sure.

Elphaba let out a sob.

She raised her head, wiping the tears off her cheeks, as she stared at the reflection in the water.

_"Has it happened yet?"_

_"Not yet sweetheart. Aelphaba's prophecy states, one of our kind will be accepted not only by those around her, but also by the one who loves her truly. True love plays a role in her prophecy- when one of us finds her true love, the diamonds Aelphaba possessed on either side of her eyes and her forehead will materialize on her skin."_

_"How will she know he's the one?"_

_"Because, they will sparkle with dust, like stars. They will light his eyes, and both will feel complete, whole. Her skin will become swathed in black silk, and a necklace of emeralds will appear around her throat. She will become the image of Aelphaba, for one small difference- the diamond in the middle of her forehead will glow green. The spell will be broken, and the girl and her lover will finally live a normal life."_

A normal life.

No one with violet eyes lived a normal life. Most died young.

Elphaba's great-great-great grandmother had, in childbirth, at twenty-six, with her last child. Her great-great grandmother had, of Glikkun flu, at twenty-four. Her great-grandmother, at twenty-two, with poison from her husband's jealous lover. Her grandmother, at twenty, two years after Melena's birth, due to suicide. And her mother, at twenty-six, from murder.

With that history, Elphaba was doomed to follow suit.

"Will that be my future? Will I die like you? _Please Mama_, will I share your fate?" She whispered, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Hush, my little butterfly. You can break the spell, just.....find someone to love you. Please, my butterfly. Please, break the spell."

She let out a sob, burying her face in her arms, shoulders shaking.

From his vantage point farther from the shore, Fiyero saw her shaking, wanted to comfort her, but stayed where he was.

Not now.

But soon.

Very, very soon.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: I was kind of stuck on where to go with this chapter, but, thanks to crazybeagle, I know exactly where it's going to go. Thanks for wondering crazybeagle.**

**Question: And OMB is Melena the moon?**

**Answer: No, she's not the moon**

**Thanks to obsessive-elphaba, and lizziemagic for reviewing 24 and crazybeagle for reviewing 23 and 24.**

_I wanted to be like you  
I wanted everything  
So I tried to be like you  
And I got swept away_

Eight weeks later, Fiyero looked up from his book.

He was lounging against the cherry tree near the canal, reading; since he had a free period first. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Elphaba coming his way.

As usual, her head was down, her leather jacket pulled tight to her body. She looked jumpy, probably from having shot up before class. In her hand, was the gold locket she always wore. It glinted in the light, causing those who passed to shield their eyes. As she got closer, Fiyero saw her lower lip slide between her teeth, a nervous habit, having formed not long after her mother's death.

Her violet eyes moved nervously from side to side, and she reached into her book bag, pulling something out of it.

A pill bottle.

So, she was back to popping pills.

Fiyero sighed.

He'd tried taking the pills away before, and nothing had come of it. So fine, let her have it her way. If she wanted to pop pills, that was her problem.

He returned to his book, but soon put it away. He couldn't get Elphaba out of his head. So, instead of reading, he took to watching her, until she disappeared into the history class room. Sighing, his study gone, he returned to his book.

Elphaba pushed the door to the cafateria open during lunch. Her last class had gone longer than expected, and she had just shot up in the bathroom, away from prying eyes and Milla, that little Gillikin spy Glinda had sicked on her. Now, she felt just fine, the buzz from the drug entering her system gone. Colors swam in front of her eyes, shapes morphed and changed, and she giggled at the most inoppertune times.

She got in line, got her lunch, paid, and went to one of the nearby tables.

She had set her tray down, and pulled the chair out to take a seat.

She had a problem grabbing the back of the chair; which meant she'd either popped or shot up before entering the cafeteria. When Crope and Tibbett blocked his view of the green girl, Fiyero returned to his lunch.

"Watching her again?" Tibbett asked, as he sat down. Fiyero shook his head.

"No."

Crope raised an eyebrow.

"You've been fascinated with her since you _got_ here. And we've told you, she's trouble. You don't mess with her unless you plan on becoming another link in her chain. Just leave her alone, she seems to be happy that way."

In any normal situation, he would have done just that. But _this_, wasn't any normal situation.

"I'll see you guys later." He said, getting up and picking up the remains of his lunch.

"Where are you going?" Tibbett asked, watching him dump the rest of his lunch in the trash. Both he and Crope watched as Fiyero walked over to Elphaba.

"Excuse me."

Elphaba turned.

A guy and his brothers stood in front of her, their blue eyes watching her.

"What?"

By now, everyone in the cafeteria had turned to watch the confrontation between the two.

Without a second thought, he reached out, grabbed her around the waist, and pulled her to him, planting his lips firmly and securely on hers. In defense, Elphaba pressed her hands against his chest, shoving him away. Fiyero's eyes closed; he didn't even think that he was kissing a drug addict, a pill popper, a lunatic. He only thought that he was kissing a beautiful woman, who had gotten caught up in something beyond her control.

Elphaba pulled away.

She was breathing heavily, and her hand reached up to squeeze the locket around her neck. Glancing around quickly, and seeing everyone looking at her, she reared back, and slapped him hard across the cheek. Then, she reached down, grabbed her cup of coffee, and tossed it at him, the warm, black liquid hitting Fiyero full in the face. When the cup fell from her hand, she grabbed her things, and glared at him.

_"You fucking bastard!"_

Blinking coffee out of his eyes, Fiyero watched her flee, hearing the door slam behind her.

Elphaba stormed into her dorm, tossed her things on her bed, and rushed to the bathroom. Once inside, she leaned against the sink, shaking. Melena watched from the mirror.

"Why did you do that?"

Silence.

"Why didn't you let him kiss you?"

_"Because...." _Elphaba began, before dissolving into sobs. "Because......he had no right to!"

Melena sighed.

"Why won't you let people in, butterfly?"

Elphaba turned away from her mother.

"Because...." She took a shuddering breath, whipping around to stare at her mother. "I'm not lovable!"

"Oh my butterfly. My beautiful butterfly. You are lovable. I love you. I will always love you. Always. But you need other people to love you too."

Elphaba's face hardened.

"That's not true. I can do just fine on my own."

"Butterfly--"

In a fit of rage, Elphaba grabbed her brush, let out a scream, and threw it, falling to the floor as the mirror exploded, glass flying everywhere. When she was sure the last shards had settled, she crawled from the bathroom, grabbed her bag, and left the dorm.

When Galinda got to the dorm later, she found the bathroom was covered in broken glass, a silver-handled hairbrush sitting in the sink, glass strewn around it like loose diamonds around Ozma's lost crown.

Elphaba was nowhere to be found.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**Question: Are you sad? Is there anything I can do to help?**

**Answer: I get into slumps where I feel like I'm never going to amount to anything....usually they're brought on by stress. A lot of the time, actually, my slumps are stress related. Normally I'm okay, but lately, they've been getting longer and longer, and it takes a while for me to get out of them. As for anything to help, well, sometimes when I talk, it helps, and sometimes it doesn't. If there's anything else that can help, well, I don't know, I've never tried anything else. **

**Question: And are we going to hear from Nessa and/or Boq?**

**Answer: Boq, no. Nessa.....maybe**

**Question: what else did he expect?**

**Answer: one thing's for sure, he wasn't expecting that.....**

**Thanks to obsessive-elphaba, Dolphin0150 and crazybeagle for reviewing 25.**

_I didn't know that it was so cold  
And you needed someone  
to show you the way  
So I took your hand and we figured out  
That when the tide comes  
I'd take you away_

Fiyero rolled onto his back, staring up at the stars.

He kissed Elphaba.

Sure, he'd kissed her before, when he'd wanted to get the pills away from her, but kissing her just because he could?

As Crope had said later that afternoon, "when you become interested in a lunatic, you start copying their behavior."

He shook his head.

Crope was wrong. He wasn't a lunatic, and he wasn't copying her. He was......

God, what was he?

Fascinated. Intrigued. Enticed.

Interested.

He was interested in her.

Why else would he kiss her, in front of everyone? Easy one.

He was interested.

Sitting up, he stared out at the lake, watching the stars twinkle in the sky.

"I'm interested. I'm interested in her."

Slowly, he turned his head to the sky, feeling the breeze whip his hair back. He sighed, confusion starting to form. Taking a deep breath, he lay back, returning his attention to the stars.

Elphaba walked through campus, a lit cigarette between her slender fingers. Her mind wandered back to that afternoon.

That kiss.

Fiyero.

_That_ was his name. The guy from the cafe, the one who had stolen her table. The annoying one, who'd followed her that day, taken her pills, and dumped them into the river.

_That_ guy.

"He had no right. No right at all." She whispered, moving to the canal and stopping at the edge. After taking one last puff on her cigarette, she tossed it into the canal, before turning and leaving the school grounds. She passed the cafe and the bar. Soon, she stopped in front of Shell's school. Taking a deep breath, she moved up the steps, reached out to knock on the door, and then stopped, lowering her hand. Sighing, she left, heading down the steps and making her way from the school.

She didn't see her brother watching through the window.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**Question: when is she going to let him in?!?!?!?!**

**Answer: not for a while.......**

**Thanks to lizziemagic for reviewing 25.**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Elphaba continued down the street, lost in her own thoughts.

She didn't hear the footsteps behind her. Or the voice.

"Elphaba! Elphaba!"

"What?" She cried, whirling around, only to see Shell hurrying towards her, his thick black hair falling across his forehead. "Shell. What are you doing--"

She stopped, when he threw his arms around her waist, and pressed his face into her chest, breathing in her scent.

"What are you doing out here? I thought you were supposed to stay at the school." She asked, when she caught her breath.

"I saw you at the door. And I saw you walk away." He replied, pulling away and looking at her. "Why did you leave?"

Elphaba looked down at him; gently, she reached down, and ran her fingers through his thick hair. He smiled, at the feel of his sister's fingers against his scalp. She sighed, and walked on.

"Well, I.....I guess I left...." Silent, Shell followed behind, before moving up and slipping his hand into his sister's. Elphaba looked up at the contact, before sighing and continuing on. She looked down, to see him looking up at her, waiting silently. "Come on."

And she led him to a little ice cream parlor not far from the school. Once they'd sat down, ordered, and had recieved their ice cream, Elphaba spoke up again.

"I left because....I didn't know if you were allowed to see visitors this late."

"It's only nine." Shell said, taking a bite of his banana split. He watched his sister curiously, spooning another bite of ice cream. "Aren't you going to eat your sundae, Elphaba? I thought chocolate was your favorite."

Slowly, she picked up the spoon, spooned some ice cream into it, and raised it to her lips, a small smile on her face. "It is." Then, she took a bite.

Shell watched her, making sure she ate it. When he was satisfied, he went back to his banana split.

"Elphaba?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you stop smoking?"

Elphaba stopped, mid-bite, caught off guard.

"Why do you ask?"

He shrugged.

"I just wanted to know."

"No. I....I haven't stopped smoking."

As they walked back to Shell's school an hour later, he slipped his hand into his sister's, and squeezed it gently. Elphaba looked down at the contact, and gave her brother a small smile. She itched for a cigarette, but she didn't dare. Not until she was back at Shiz.

"Elphaba?"

"Hmm?"

"Could I come see you at Shiz someday?"

"Sure. If they'll let you."

"They'll let me."

"How can you be so sure?" He smiled.

"Because I'm your brother. And they'll _have_ to let me in." He replied.

"But what if they don't?" She asked, sure she'd beat him at his own game. Shell thought a minute.

"Then.....I'll climb the fence and search until I find your room, and then I'll climb through the window, and take you out for ice cream sundaes." He replied, a smug smile on his face. Elphaba rolled her eyes.

"They'd catch you and escort you back to your school." She said.

"No they wouldn't. Because they'd see that I was your brother, and they'd let me see you."

"You don't give up, do you?" She asked, stopping at the bottom of the steps to the school. She hugged him, and then pulled away.

"No! Elphaba, don't go! Stay! Please!"

"I can't Shell." He grabbed her hands, and then threw his arms around her waist.

"No! Please Elphaba! We can go to a movie, or go get more ice cream sudaes, or go swimming in the lake, or go stargazing." He looked up at Elphaba, resting his chin gently on her chest.

"Remember when we used to go out into the woods near the lake and stargaze?_ Remember?_ You told me the story about the princess and the moon. We could go out to the lake, and lay on the shore and stargaze, and you could tell me the story again. _Please? Elphaba, please? _I promise, I won't say anything about your smoking. _I promise_._ Please, Elphaba. Please_!"

Elphaba sighed, tears springing to her eyes. Gently, she ran her fingers through his soft, black hair, and held him close. She looked down at him, and sniffled.

"I _can't_." She whispered, as he locked eyes with her. Then, she knelt down in front of him. "But I tell you what. How about, next week, you come to Shiz, and we can go out and get ice cream sundaes again. And then we'll go stargazing at the lake afterwards. I _promise." _

She reached out, wiping the tears off his cheeks.

"Okay?"

After a moment, he nodded, and threw his arms around her neck, burying his face in her hair.

"I love you, Elphaba."

She nuzzled her nose into his neck, like she'd do when he was a little boy, as a means to comfort him.

"I love you too, Shell. I love you too."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: She _attempted_ to take care of herself for Shell......**

**Apparently, I missed a question when I posted chapter 26, so.....**

**Question: Who were the guys standing in front of Elphaba in the cafeteria, and why did Fiyero feel threatened by them?**

**Answer: The guys were Fiyero- Elphaba had just shot up, and so she was seeing double- or, well, triple. And he kissed her just because he wanted to.**

**Thanks to lizziemagic, crazybeagle, Elphaba1Fan, StuckinSouthstairs, and Dolphin0150 for reviewing 27.**

_I'm sinking slowly  
So hurry hold me  
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on  
Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone_

Two weeks passed.

Shell was unable to come to Shiz to see Elphaba because he had too much homework. And Elphaba, for her part, was too focused on shooting up or popping to even notice.

So it was a one afternoon when Elphaba was in one of her pre-shooting up moments, that she found the letter.

Setting her needles down, she tore open the envelope, and unfolded the letter. Quickly, her dark eyes scanned the contents of the letter.

_Dear Elphaba,_

_I hope everything is going well at Shiz......_

_...I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Father has disowned you...._

Elphaba's head swam.

Disowned?

_....He's been thinking about it alot lately, and he's decided that you do nothing but remind him of mother. You're a plague destroying us all, and you need to be removed. I'm sorry, but as of today, you are no longer a member of this family. You are no longer my sister....._

_Love, _

_Nessa_

She dropped the letter, numb. Disowned? She was disowned?

Her breathing came in quick gasps, and she frantically searched for her needles, quickly shooting up before she could let her emotions carry her away. Once she had calmed down, she picked up the letter, set it on her desk, then grabbed her book bag, needles, and drugs before leaving. She left Shiz, making her way to the lake. She dropped her bag on the shore, and sat down, the locket gripped in her hand. Tears slid down her cheeks, Nessa's letter flashing before her.

_Father has disowned you....He's been thinking about it alot lately, and he's decided that you do nothing but remind him of mother. You're a plague destroying us all, and you need to be removed. I'm sorry, but as of today, you are no longer a member of this family. You are no longer my sister....._

No longer her sister?

What about Mama? Was Melena no longer her mother?

Slowly, she crept to the water's edge, and stared into the glassy surface.

"Am I no longer your daughter?"

"You will _always_ be my daughter, butterfly. You're my flesh and blood, you have my eyes. You're my daughter more than Nessa could ever be."

Elphaba let out a sob. After a few silent moments, she got up, gathering her bag and leaving the lake. She walked through Shiz, blindly making her way back to her dorm. Once she pushed open the door, she was met with someone she didn't think she'd see.

"Elphaba!" Her violet eyes widened, to see Shell sitting on her bed. He got up, rushing to his sister as she entered her dorm. His arms went around her waist, and he snuggled close. She stood still, slowly becoming aware of her surroundings.

"Sh...Shell? What are you doing here?"

"I told you I'd come see you. It just took me a week." He said, pulling away and taking her bag from her, against her protests. His back to his sister, he returned to her bed, sitting on it, the bag next to him. Mechanically, Elphaba followed, stopping at the foot. The siblings sat in silence for a few minutes, before Shell decided to speak up. "I got an A on my History paper about the Gods and Goddesses."

"That's nice, Shell." His brow furrowed.

"Are you okay Elphaba?"

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm okay Shell, just....tired."

"Oh."

They stayed in silence, until it became so unnerving, that Shell had to ask.

"Elphaba, are you sure you're okay? You're scaring me."

She nodded, smiling at him. The drugs were still working in her system, and she giggled stupidly. Desparate to find something to help his sister, he opened her book bag, and found the needles.

"Elphaba. What's this?" He turned, looking at his sister, the bag of needles and drugs in his hands. He stared at his sister in disbelief.

"Those belong to my roommate. She's always putting her stuff in my bags." A laugh escaped her, and Shell dropped the bags, springing up from the bed and away from his sister. Just as he was about say something, the door opened, and Galinda appeared.

"Elphie? What's going-- oh hello. Who are you?" The blonde asked, coming into the room. Elphaba and Shell looked at her, and she saw the similar features, the black hair. Her eyes, however, roamed to Elphaba, who stood fidgeting and laughing.

"I...I'm--"

"This is Shell." Elphaba interrupted. "He's my....son." She burst into giggles, clapping her hands. Shell turned back to Glinda.

"I'm her brother. Shell."

"Oh, well, it's nice to meet you, Shell. What are you doing here?"

"I...I came to see my...sister." He said, backing away from Elphaba. He turned to Galinda, fear in his eyes. "Something's not right. She smokes and...and I found needles and drugs in her book bag." Galinda looked from the boy to his sister. "She's not going to die, is she?"

"No, of course not. She'll be fine." Galinda said, moving past the boy and going to her roommate. "Elphie. Elphie, maybe you'd better sit down." She grabbed the girl's wrist, and Elphaba wrenched away.

"No! Don't touch me!" The two struggled for a few minutes, before Elphaba shoved past the blonde and went to her brother. "Shell, do you....want one?" She asked, holding out a cigarette. He looked from the cigarette to his sister's face and back.

In that one glance, he knew that this wasn't his sister. This wasn't Elphaba. Not the Elphaba he knew. This was a stranger.

He backed up.

"No. I don't. And you're not....you're not my sister." He whispered, tears in his eyes. He backed up until he could grab the door handle and pull it open. The tears slid down his eyes, and he took a deep breath, his voice thick with tears. _"You're not my sister." _

Before Elphaba could blink, he was gone. Letting out a cry, Elphaba spun on Galinda.

"You! This is your fault!" She screamed.

"No it wasn't! Elphaba, you're sick! You need to stop this! Shell needs you!"

"No he doesn't! Because I'm not his sister! I'm not a member of his family! Not anymore!" She screamed, grabbing her hair. Letting out a scream, she grabbed her bag, put her needles, drugs, and her mother's diary into it, and left, slamming the door behind her.

Glinda was left staring at the closed door. She sniffed, before breaking down, the conversation between Shell and Elphaba playing in her head.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: Chapter already written, just needed to update it. Nothing new written....**

**A/N: Recapping.....**

**Elphaba watched Frex kill Melena when she was six. That basically scarred the girl (remember the memory in the first chapter, and the freak out in the 3rd). Elphaba has basically suffered abuse (mental, emotional, phsyical) at the hands of her father from the time she was born, and, up until she was six, Melena was there to defend and protect her. But when Melena died, Elphaba had to fend for herself. She took the abuse from her father, and rebelled as much as she could while she was at Colwen Grounds (remember the lily tattoo). So, when she gets to Shiz, she lets loose. Elphaba, basically, is trying to be like Melena (the wild sex, rebelliousness, etc). To Elphaba, it's a way of being close to her mother, without the memory of her murder. Everything she does in the story is basically a coping mechanism, to deal with the abuse her father put her through, and witnessing Melena's murder. **

**Elphaba and Avaric basically start a fling- her sneaking into his room- resulting in the two having wild, insane sex. After their latest fling, Avaric tells Elphaba that they should stop their affair, and Elphaba leaves, not before Avaric tries to apologize, but Elphaba flees back to her dorm, where she has a small breakdown, and starts hearing her mother's voice. Then, the next day or so, Galinda joins Elphaba at her table during lunch, and tries to make conversation with her, that doesn't go so well. Meanwhile, Milla stands up to ShenShen and Pfannee, going so far as to dump her lunch over their heads and tell them to 'go fuck each other and leave Elphaba alone.' **

**Chapter 9 is when Elphaba discovers absinthe, which she gets drunk off of one night not long after Avaric breaks off the affair. Galinda- dragging Avaric behind her- finds Elphaba, and together, the two manage to get her back to Shiz. In 10, Elphaba gets introduced to something and someone that only further pushes her along-Snickatora and drugs- at the Ozdust. **

**She meets Fiyero at the small cafe outside Shiz, which results in an arguement over who the table belongs to. Neither gives in. Two days later, Fiyero tells Crope and Tibbett about his conversation with Elphaba, amid rumors swirling around the green girl. Four nights later, after a confrontation with Galinda, Elphaba sneaks out to the bar outside Shiz, meets up with Snicka, and gets introduced-and addicted-to smack.**

**Four months after that, is when Galinda discovers Elphie's addiction, after she catches Elphaba and Snicka in the dorm, acting like idiots (raiding her closet and laughing like lunatics) after shooting up. A few days later- after buying smack and marijuana- Elphaba attracts Manek, and the two start a wild affair. Throughout the rest of the year, Elphaba's flings get longer and more frequent, causing rumors to swirl more than ever. **

**One afternoon after dance, Milla confronts her, wanting to help, but Elphaba resists. Weeks later, Elphaba locks herself in the bathroom, has a conversation with her mother, and starts popping pills. And the next day, Fiyero catches her popping pills in class, and confronts her afterwards, taking the bottle of pills and dumping them in the Suicide Canal, causing Elphaba to pounce, which causes them to fall into the canal, and struggle for the bottle. When they get back to the edge, a screaming match ensues, followed by Elphaba storming off to her dorm. **

**In 19, Galinda gives Elphaba a present- a black shrug- hoping to make friends with the girl. Instead, all her gift does, is trigger a painful memory of her mother's murder. The memory is of Melena wearing a similar shrug the night of her murder. She removes her hands to see blood coating her hands, and, screaming bloody murder, she rips the shrug off, leaving it on the floor, as she flees to the bathroom, locking herself in. Galinda finds the shrug on the floor later, goes to the bathroom, only to be told to go away. After she leaves, Elphaba slips out of the bathroom, and leaves the dorm through the window. **

**After she leaves Shiz, she goes to The Sir Chuffery Boarding School for Boys, the school her twelve-year-old brother, Shell, attends. Shell adores his sister, looking up to her as the mother he never had. Elphaba takes Shell out for dinner, and afterwards, they return to the school. Elphaba pulls a cigarette out during the walk, and starts smoking, to which Shell asks why. Elphaba tells him that she smokes because she wants to, not because of Melena. When the two hug goodbye, Shell tells Elphaba that he misses Melena too, essentially seeing through her ruse.**

**Three weeks later, Fiyero meets Elphaba at the cafe, and apologizes for the day at the canal. Elphaba goes to the cherry tree by the canal, and pulls out her mother's diary, reading an entry Melena wrote about the Canal. She goes to the edge of the bridge over the canal, and steps out to jump, only to be pulled back by Fiyero. She wrenches away from him, and falls back into the canal; Fiyero dives in after her. Once they're back on dry land, Elphaba grabs her stuff, yells at him to leave her alone, and storms off. **

**Six weeks after the incident, when Elphaba locks herself in the bathroom again, Galinda rummages through Elphaba's things, finding and reading Melena's diary. Elphaba catches her, grabs the diary away, and leaves the dorm, going to the woods. Once in the woods, she goes to the lake, strips down, and skinnydips, breaking through the surface of the water, to find the moon looking down on her. The memory of Melena taking her to the woods and telling her the story of the princess that became the moon breaks to the surface, and she dives back under the water, destroying the memory. Once she's done, she returns to shore, dressing and sitting alone, thinking. However, someone's watching, but Elphaba doesn't know that. **

**So, adding on 24- 28:**

**Okay, in 24, we discover that Fiyero is the one watching Elphaba at the lake. Both, it turns out, know the story of the moon, just as it pertains to their cultures. We also learn that Aelphaba's prophecy has never been fulfilled, and that most of Elphaba's ancestors died young, therefore being unable to fulfill the prophecy. Elphaba also hears her mother's voice, begging her to break the prophecy. **

**Eight weeks after, Fiyero sees Elphaba pass through the Green, and notes that she's returned to popping pills; since he could do nothing to stop her, he decides to leave her to her own devices. Later, during lunch, Elphaba, having just shot up before, gets lunch and has trouble taking her seat at her table. Fiyero sees her, until Crope and Tibett block his view, asking if he's still intrigued by her. Excusing himself, Fiyero goes to Elphaba- who has yet to figure out how to sit down in her drugged state- grabs her, and kisses her. Elphaba wrenches away, and slaps him, before tossing her cup of coffee into his face and leaving. Once she's back in her dorm, Elphaba locks herself in the bathroom, and has a conversation with her mother before losing her temper and throwing her brush into the mirror, shattering it. Once everything settles, she flees the dorm, leaving the mess for Glinda to find later, which she does.**

**In the next chapter, Fiyero is laying near the lake, looking at the stars. He realizes that he kissed her because he's interested in her. Meanwhile, Elphaba stops by the canal and stares into the water, before leaving the school grounds and heading to her brother's school. She goes to knock, but thinks better of it, and leaves, not realizing that Shell is watching from the window. Shell follows, catching up to his sister. They continue on for a while, before going to a nearby ice cream parlor and ordering sundaes. Shell notes her odd behavior when she doesn't eat her sundae, and asks her if she stopped smoking, to which she says no. When they leave, Shell grabs his sister's hand, and asks if he can come see her at Shiz. The two start playfully arguing that Shell wouldn't be able to get in, to which Shell wins. Once they get back to Shell's school, he throws his arms around her waist, and begs her to not go. She says she has to, but promises him that they'll go out for ice cream sundaes the week after, before telling him she loves him and heading back to Shiz. **

**Two weeks pass, with Shell unable to visit Elphaba. One afternoon, Elphaba finds a letter from her sister, Nessa, saying that Frex has disowned her, because she's a disgrace to the family. Upset, she shoots up, before leaving the dorm. She goes to the lake, and has a short conversation with her mother before leaving. She returns to her dorm, to see Shell sitting on her bed. Shell notices his sister's odd behavior, and asks if she's okay, because she's scaring him. Elphaba says that she's fine, and starts giggling like a lunatic. Shell, worried, opens Elphaba's book bag to find something to help her, and discovers the needles and drugs. He confronts her about them, and Elphaba says that they're Glinda's. Just when he goes to reply, Glinda enters the dorm. Elphaba introduces Shell as her son, to which Shell corrects her. He tells Glinda that he came to visit his sister, and then tells her about the drugs and needles in the bag, before asking if Elphaba's going to die. Glinda reassures him, and tries to get Elphaba to sit down. Elphaba wrenches free, and offers Shell a cigarette, to which he rejects, before telling Elphaba that she's no long his sister. Once he's gone, Elphaba rounds on Glinda, blaming her, to which Glinda bites back, causing Elphaba to flee. **

**Question: how will she ever get better if shell rejects her like that?**

**Answer: you'll see**

**Question: is she ever going to get it together?**

**Answer: Yes, but it will take a little longer.....**

**Question: when are you going let someone help her a lot more than you have been!?**

**Answer: Soon, well, not soon-soon, but soon**

**Thanks to StuckInSouthstairs, lizziemagic, crazybeagle, Dolphin0150, obsessive-elphaba, and hot4edward for reviewing 28.**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

Shell curled up on the steps of Crage Hall, tears sliding down his cheeks.

He'd hidden, seeing Elphaba leave the building, and then come back, sitting at the entrance, knees to his chest, his hands in his black hair. Tears rolled down his cheeks, and the stunned look in Elphaba's violet eyes flashed before him. Her smile and the giggle she'd let loose after introducing him wrong.

_"He's my....son."_

He'd caught her slip, her mistake. But now, thinking back on it, he did think of Elphaba as his mother. She was the only mother he'd ever known. Melena had commited suicide when he was a baby, so Elphaba was the only mother he'd ever known, ever loved. He didn't love Melena because he didn't know her. And Elphaba......

How could he have said those horrible things to his sister? He loved Elphaba. But....

"You okay?" Shell looked up, seeing Fiyero standing over him.

"No. I just told my sister I hated her." He replied, reaching up and wiping tears off his cheeks. Sighing, Fiyero sat next to him.

"What's wrong with her?" He waited for the boy to talk. The kid couldn't have been more than ten- twelve at most- with thick black hair and grey eyes.

"She's sick. She does drugs."

"Really?" He had a good idea of who the kid was talking about. "Do you love her?"

"She's my sister. Of course I love her." Shell cried, wiping his nose. He then broke down again.

"Well, then if she's sick, you need to be there to help her and support her." Fiyero said, wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulders. "And, no matter how good it felt at the time, telling her you hate her isn't going to help her." Shell nodded, accepting it. He sniffled again.

"But, I don't think she'll accept it if I apologize. She doesn't love me anymore." Shell said, looking up at Fiyero. The man sighed. This is what he got for walking through campus at night; counsling kids.

"I think she'll accept your apology. And of course she loves you. You're her little brother. No question about it. She loves you."

"How do you know?"

Fiyero bit his lip. Finally, he said,

"I know because....I know her personally. She's in a few of my classes, and we're good friends. Actually, we're more than good friends, we're dating."

"Really?" Shell asked, perking slightly. Slowly, Fiyero nodded. "E...Elphaba didn't say anything about having a boyfriend."

"Well....that's because we haven't publicly admitted that we're dating. We're keeping it a secret."

"Oh. Why?"

"Because....." He bit his lip. Great. Come on, _think_. "Because we just started dating last week, and we don't want people making a big fuss because she's green. We want to see if it'll work between us before we announce it."

"Oh." Shell thought a moment. "Why would people make a fuss of her skin? It's pretty."

"I know that, and you know that, but people aren't always accepting of people who look different." Shell nodded, accepting the answer.

"I'm Shell, by the way."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Fiyero." The two shook hands, then, Fiyero stood to return to his dorm.

"Um....hey Fiyero?" The young man turned back, meeting the boy's eyes.

"Yeah Shell?" The kid's question threw him for a loop.

"D....Do you love Elphaba?"


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**Question: When WILL that (Elphie and Yero becoming boyfriend and girlfriend) happen?**

**Answer: It'll take a few chapters before that happens**

**A/N: 89 reviews! And they're all wonderful. But please, ask more questions! I love questions!**

**Thanks to crazybeagle, StuckInSouthstairs, lizziemagic, obsessive-elphaba, and witch-of-the-west9482 for reviewing 29.**

_All you wanted was somebody who cares  
If you need me you know I'll be there  
Oh, yeah_

Two days later, Fiyero looked up from his lunch to see Elphaba enter, her leather jacket open on her shoulders. Her long black hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she clutched the locket. Her eyes scanned for a table, the only one open being Fiyero's. Sighing, she resigned herself to going over to him. Slowly, she stopped, looking down at Fiyero.

"Yes?" He asked, meeting her eyes.

"Can I....."

He seemed to consider it for a moment.

"It's my table. I always sit here. The table in the middle by the window, diagonally across from the bread. This is_ my_ seat. Ask anyone who works here, they'll vouch for me. I'm always here. Always. And when I'm not, I'm usually here the day after. This is _my_ table."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Really."

"I don't see your name on it."

Glowering, she slammed her book bag down on the table, and set her tray down, leaning on the table. Then, she grabbed her book bag, pulled out the chair, and plunked her rump into the chair across from him, leaning back, arms crossed over her chest. The two glared at each other, before eating.

"I met your brother."

She choked on her coffee.

_"You met Shell?"_ She cried. He nodded. _"When? How?" _

"Well, he was....sitting on the steps of Crage Hall, obviously upset, and I...I comforted him."

"Oh."

They ate in silence, before Fiyero got up, leaving. After twenty minutes, Elphaba got up, tossing the remains of her lunch in the trash and racing after Fiyero.

"Hey! Hey!"

He turned, facing the green woman.

"What?"

"What....what did you say to him?" She demanded.

"Just.....just that you would get better and that he needed to be there to support you."

"Are you sure? You didn't open up your big mouth and put ideas into his head?" She demanded, stepping closer. He shook his head.

"No."

She eyed him for a moment.

"Good."

Then, she turned, leaving for class.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: She finds out....**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

A week passed.

A week as uneventful as Elphaba could hope.

Now, she walked up the steps of the Sir Chuffery School For Boys, and knocked. Whether Shell liked it or not, she was going to stop by and see him. When no one answered, she sighed, turning and leaving, going to the cafe outside Shiz. She plunked herself down at her table, and ordered a cup of tea.

"Elphaba?"

Her voilet eyes looked up, seeing Shell standing over her.

"Shell." He gave her a small smile.

"Can I....sit down?" After a moment, she nodded. Quickly, he sat down across from her, and ordered a cup of tea. "Elphaba?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm......sorry."

She met his eyes. Tears sparkled in his grey eyes. She sighed, and gently pushed her cup to the side, reaching for his hand.

"It's okay." He shook his head.

"No it's not." Quickly, he got up, and fled. Elphaba watched him, before putting down some money for the bill, and chased after him.

"Shell! Shell, wait! Shell, stop!" She followed her brother, worry nagging in her mind. Finally, they stopped at the lake. "Shell....don't....run off.....like that. You scared me." She said, doubled over, catching her breath. He sat at the shore edge, hugging his knees to his chest, turned away from her. Sighing, she went to him, sitting next to him, watching the water ripple in the lake.

"You hate me." She jumped at the sound of his voice, before turning to him and reaching out, losing her fingers in his thick black hair. He allowed a smile to temporarily grace his lips, before he sniffled.

"I don't hate you, Shell."

"Yes you do."

"No, I don't. I love you. You're my brother." She said, lifting his chin to look into his eyes.

"Really?" She nodded. Then, he threw his arms around her neck, and Elphaba pulled him close, kissing his hair. They didn't notice Fiyero watching, distrubed from his quiet night of stargazing. Finally, Shell pulled away, wiping his eyes. "I can see why you and Fiyero are dating."

Elphaba's face fell.

_"What?"_


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: I'm back! (crickets) Okay.... sorry I haven't updated this... math, english and history midterms have been kicking my ass...apparently I've been following Yero's 'Dancing Through Life' philosophy a little too much.....**

**Thanks to crazybeagle, lizziemagic, StuckInSouthstairs, and obsessive-elphaba for reviewing 31.**

_Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone_

Books slammed down on the table.

Slowly, Fiyero looked up, seeing Elphaba-seething- across from him. Her eyes snapped, and, if he didn't know any better, he'd say she was foaming at the mouth as smoke came out of her nostrils.

_"You."_

Silent, he waited. When she didn't open her mouth again, he asked,

"Yes?"

_"What. Did. You. Do?"_

He blinked.

"What do you mean?" He asked innocently. She didn't say anything, just narrowed her eyes, before leaning towards him, until only an inch rested between them. The locket dangled between them, and, if Fiyero hadn't been so surprised, he'd have closed the gap and kissed her. As it was, he much preferred to live through this encounter with his mouth intact. Her breath spelled faintly of smoke, and her chest rose and fell rapidly.

"Don't play stupid. I _know_ you told my little brother that we were dating. Now, _why_ would you put such a... a...._wicked_ idea into his head?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She curled her lip at him, a growl low in her throat. It would have been exceedingly sexy, if she hadn't been eyeing him like a wounded Boar. If looks could kill, he'd be dead by now.

"Don't walk away from me. I'm not done with you yet!"

So now, she could read minds. Wow.

Maintaining his composure, he gathered his books, and got up, leaning towards her.

"I did nothing."

Then, he left, leaving Elphaba stunned. Quickly, she followed, fleeing the library, hot on his heels.

"Hey! _Hey!_ Where the _fuck_ do you think you're going? We're not done!" She screeched, catching up to him in the green. Finally, she grabbed his arm. "I said, _We're. Not. Done_."

He faced her, before pulling away.

"And I told you, I did _nothing_."

"Don't walk away from me! We aren't done yet!" She screamed, following.

"You're sick, Elphaba. Very sick. You need to get better. If not for your sake, then for Shell's. He needs you." He called over his shoulder. She snorted, and passed him.

"He doesn't need me. I'm not a member of his family."

Fed up, Fiyero grabbed her arm, and spun her to face him. Then, he pulled her close.

"Let go of me! Let go!" She screeched, struggling to break free. He held her against him, and leaned towards her. It was a chaste, quick kiss, but a kiss none the less. Their lips barely brushed, before she pulled away, backing up. Suddenly, she reared back, slapping him hard. "_Keep_ _away_ from me. _Keep away_ from my little brother. _Leave. Me. Alone_!"

And she fled to Crage Hall, Fiyero watching her disappear into the building.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

_I wanted to be like you  
I wanted everything  
So I tried to be like you  
And I got swept away_

Two days passed.

In those two days, Elphaba had become more and more distant from everyone. It was in these two days, that Fiyero tried everything he could to get Elphaba to see reason, even though she warned him to stay away. He even went to her roommate, Glinda, but the girl couldn't give him much information, just that her mother had died, and she kept this little brown diary that must have been her mother's. Both noticed that Elphaba had developed a scary fascination with knives. So it was over this weekend, that Glinda finally approached her.

"Elphie?"

The green girl sat on the edge of her bed, her back to the blonde, a pocket knife in her hands.

"Elphie?"

The girl looked over her shoulder at the blonde, before removing her gaze. Sighing, Glinda left, knowing better than to try to strike up a conversation with Elphaba. Once the door closed behind her, Elphaba got up, going to the bathroom. She studied herself in the mirror, the knife held tenderly between her fingers. She glanced at the knife, before looking back into the mirror.

_"Mama!"_

_The little girl threw her arms around her mother, who held her close. _

_"Oh my butterfly. My precious little butterfly." _

_The girl giggled as her mother tickled her. Then, she reached down, placing her hand on her mother's round belly. _

_"Mama? When is the baby coming?" _

_"Soon sweetheart. Very soon."_

_A scream pierced the air. Quietly, the little girl snuck into the bedroom, running to the closet and climbing in. She watched through the cracked-open door, as the midwife and nurses fluttered about, tending her mother. Her mother's screams scared her, almost as much as what the midwife and nurses were doing to her mother. She watched her mother sit up, lean forward, and push, screams escaping her throat as she did so. Finally, Melena was able to lay back down and rest, as the midwife held something in her arms. She cleaned it off, before wrapping it in a blanket. _

_Just as Elphaba was about to climb out of the closet and go to her mother, her father entered, and she stayed hidden. _

_"Well?"_

_"Congratulotions, Govenor Thropp. You have a healthy son." The midwife told him, laying the baby in Melena's arms. _

_"Thank the Unnamed God." Frex breathed. He brought Nessa in, and introduced her to the baby._

_"Where's Elphaba? I want her to meet her baby brother." Melena said. _

_"This child does not need to be exposed to that vermin!" Frex snapped. _

_"She's not vermin!" Melena cried. Soon, he left, taking Nessa with him. Once they were gone, Elphaba gently pushed the closet door open, and snuck towards her mother. _

_"Mama?" _

_Melena looked up at the childish voice, to see Elphaba next to the bed. A smile came to her lips, and she patted the bed beside her. _

_"Where were you hiding, my butterfly?" She asked, as her daughter climbed up next to her._

_"The closet." She glanced at the baby. "Mama, what were the ladies doing to you? It was scary." _

_Melena sighed; she knew this conversation would come up soon, she just wasn't expecting it to be now. _

_"They were--"_

_"Hurting you."_

_"No baby. They were helping me deliver your brother. See?" And Melena tilted her arms so her oldest daughter could see the baby. _

_"But he was hurting you." _

_Melena nodded slowly. _

_"So did you, when you were born."_

_The little girl's eyes widened in horror. _

_"I did?" She looked about to cry. It was then that Melena realized that she'd said the wrong thing to the child, and worked to amend it. _

_"Yes....but...all that pain, all that hurt....was worth it." _

_"It was?" Melena nodded. _

_"And do you know why?" The child shook her head. "It was worth it because in the end, I got to hold you in my arms. I got to look into your beautiful violet eyes. I got to feel your tiny hand around my finger. It was all worth it. With you, and Nessa, and this little one." _

_It was then that Elphaba actually looked at the baby. He had grey eyes, and black hair. The child wrinkled her nose and looked at her mother. _

_"I don't like him." _

_"Elphaba-"_

_But the little girl was leaning over her mother's arms again, studying her baby brother. Her hair hung around her like a curtain, and the baby reached up, grabbing several strands and pulling. _

_"Owie! Mama, make him stop!" Elphaba cried, pulling her head one way as the baby pulled another. Several seconds passed, Melena watching the tug-of-war going on between her oldest and her youngest, with her daughter's long, ebony locks as the rope, before intervening. Tenderly, she released her daughter's hair from her son's grasp; the little girl curled into her mother's available side. _

_After a moment, Melena whispered,_

_"What are we going to name you?" She glanced at her daughter, before speaking. "How about you name him, butterfly? And we'll tell Daddy that I named him okay? It'll just be between us. Okay?" Elphaba nodded. "Now, what should we name him?"_

_The child thought a moment, before speaking. _

_"Shell."_

_"Shell? Why Shell?"_

_"Because it's different." _

_Melena chuckled softly. _

_"Yes, it is. It's very unique. Just like Elphaba is unique to you." She said, pressing her forehead against her daughter's._

_"What's unique?" _

_"It's...another word for different."_

_"Oh."_

_"Do you want to hold him?" Elphaba nodded, and gently, Melena laid the baby in her arms, before pulling her daughter into her embrace. _

_"Mommy?"_

_"Hmm?" Melena whispered into her daughter's hair. _

_"Do you think we'll get along?" She met her daughter's eyes, thinking a moment before speaking. _

_"I think you'll get along very well. I think...that you two will be very, very close."_

Melena had died the next night. On Elphaba's sixth birthday. She'd given birth to her son and passed away in the matter of two days.

Now, Elphaba ran her thumb gently along the knife blade. She'd found the pocket knife in a box in the attic; Melena had left it for Shell, when he was old enough. It had been her father's. Elphaba had taken it; she wasn't going to give it to Shell until he turned eighteen. Until then, she kept it. As she watched her thumb move back and forth over the blade, she noted the small flecks of red staining the metal.

"Don't. Butterfly, don't."

Slowly, Elphaba raised her head, met her mother's eyes. Tears shown in her own, and she took a shaky breath. She couldn't do this- it would hurt Shell far too much. He'd lost his birth mother, and then, to lose the only mother he'd ever known? It would kill him. But to....to stay and...and live with the horror of her mother's murder, playing over and over in her mind? Which was worse?

"I'm sorry Mama. But I...I can't live like this anymore. I can't."

"What about Shell, butterfly? What about you? You're the only mother he knows. Please. Don't."

Elphaba let out a shaky breath.

"Please Mama. Tell Shell that I love him....and that I'm sorry."

_"Butterfly, NO!"_

But there was nothing Melena could do, except watch her daughter slide the knife blade along her beautiful, slender, harlequin throat.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: 99 reviews! One more and I get my 100th review for this story!**

**Oh goody! Questions!**

**Question: THIS?!**

**Answer: yes**

**Question: My predictions: she dies, everybody sad, the end kind of thing. OR! Fiyero stops her JUST in time (I'm only assuming Yero because of the Fiyeraba) and this story ends with a romantic Fiyeraba kiss (I am a HOPELESS romantic fairytale believer! =^.^=) though my predoctions might not be completely accurate, am I at least close?**

**Answer: somewhat...... you'll have to read and see**

**Question: whatever happened to that whole violet eyes prophecy thing?**

**Answer: prophecy comes up in...the next chapter... **

**Question: And, estimation time, is this almost the end? I'm goin to bet it is... OOH! Sequel?**

**Answer: end? not even close.... fiyero has barely (and I mean barely) started breaking down Elphaba's walls. It's going to take several more chapters before the end. And a sequel? Would you all want a sequel?**

**Thanks to lizziemagic, ToThoseWhoGroundMe, and obsessive-elphaba for reviewing 32 and 33. **

_I didn't know that it was so cold  
And you needed someone  
to show you the way  
So I took your hand and we figured out  
That when the tide comes  
I'd take you away_

The key turned in the lock, and Galinda slipped inside the dorm, pushing the door open and going to her bed. She set the bags on her bed, leaving the door ajar.

"Elphie? I'm back! You don't mind if I bought you something, do you? It's black, so I'm sure you'll like it....." She looked up, when no one replied. "Elphie?" Her eyes scanned the dorm; the window was closed, and Elphaba's book bag was on the bed. Slowly, she turned her head to the bathroom door, catching sight of a flash of harlequin green.

Concern and curiosity racing through her, Galinda moved to the bathroom door, slowly pushing it open. She let out a scream, seeing her roommate crumpled on the floor, a pocket knife laying loosely in her hand, a gash along her beautiful throat. Quickly, she dropped to her knees, trying to think of some way- any way- to save her friend.

"Elphie! Elphie!" After trying several times to stop the bleeding, she sighed, and sat back. Looking around frantically, she finally climbed to her feet, and rushed out of the dorm. The other students watched the blonde race through the halls. She ignored them all, finally making it outside, and to the green. Her eyes scanned desparately for the one person she knew could help, and, finally spotting him with Crope and Tibbett, rushed towards him.

"Fiyero! Fiyero!" The three looked up, to see the young blonde run towards them. Once she got closer, they saw that she was covered in blood.

"Galinda? What's wrong?" Fiyero asked, concerned. The poor blonde was a jumbled mess.

"Floor...bathroom....sh...shopping....window......found....knife..."

Gently, Fiyero took her shoulders, and guided her to the bench, sitting her between Crope and Tibbett. Then, he knelt in front of her.

"Galinda, what happened?" The girl looked at him, before bursting into tears.

"Elphie!" She cried. It was then that he glanced at her bloody clothes and hands, before getting up and racing away.

"Fiyero? Fiyero!" Quickly, the other three followed.

Fiyero raced into Crage Hall, and up the stairs to the girls' dorm. He ignored the others watching, and rushed into the dorm, looking frantically for any sign of the girl he'd become fascinated with. It was only when he heard Galinda's voice in the doorway, that he did anything.

"The....the bathroom."

Slowly, he moved to the bathroom. Time seemed to freeze, as he pushed the door open farther.

"Oh my Oz."

"Crope.....go...go alert the infirmary." Fiyero said. "NOW!" He snapped, kneeling next to her. Silent, he studied the gash in her throat, and then, pressed his ear to her chest. Her heart was faint, but there. Suddenly, he sat up, and put his mouth to hers, pushing air into her lungs, that just released through the gash in her throat. "Galinda, come here. I need you...I need you to put pressure on the wound. Here." He grabbed a towel, balled it up, and handed it to her.

"On...on her.....throat?" The girl asked.

"Yes."

"But....but I'll choke her...."

"Galinda, just do it. If you don't we'll lose her anyway."

"But...."

"Do it!" He snapped, watching as the blonde followed orders, before returning to her mouth. If he wasn't trying to save her life, this would have been romantic...

Over and over, they worked on her, breathing air into her lungs and doing compressions on her chest. Nothing. Finally, Fiyero scooped Elphaba up in his arms, and raced out of the the dorm, heading to the infirmary, Galinda, Crope, and Tibbett hot on his heels. In a few moments, he pushed open the door of the infirmary, and rushed to the nurse.

"Please...she...."

"To the bed, quickly." He laid her on the bed, backing away as the nurse examined her. After several moments, Fiyero asked,

"Is she..."

"We're lucky you got her here in time." Fiyero nodded, going to Elphaba's side and taking her hand.

"Come back to us, please Fae. Please." He whispered, bringing her hand to his cheek. Gently, tenderly, he kissed her hand, watching her.

After several hours, Elphaba's violet eyes slowly opened.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**Question: Is it Galinda or Glinda?**

**Answer: It's Galinda, but Elphaba calls her Glinda to piss the blonde off, which....evidently doesn't work....**

**Question: Because it was Galinda right?**

**Answer: Yes.**

**Question: Then Elphie calls her Glinda, and now it's being narrated as Glinda too?**

**Answer: Yes, Elphie calls her Glinda, but, no, it's not really being narrated by one set person...**

**Question: So, now, what? Will she be mad or grateful that she was saved?**

**Answer: read and see....**

**Thanks to FabalaTiggular for giving me my 100th review AND obsessive-elphaba for giving me my 101th review for All You Wanted! Thank you also to lizziemagic, Dolphin0150, StuckInSouthstairs and hot4edward for reviewing 34 as well, and to hot4edward for also reviewing 29.**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

The first thing she saw, amid the haze, was her mother.

"Butterfly? Oh thank god."

"Mama?"

"Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?" Melena scolded, running her fingers through her daughter's hair.

Elphaba took a deep breath, nodding slowly.

"Where....where's Shell?"

"I don't know, but Butterfly, you...you have to stop this. Or next time...next time you won't be so lucky." Tears shone in her mother's violet eyes; tears _she_ had caused. "I gave my life to protect yours, and I know you would give your life to protect Shell's, but....suicide is not the answer, Butterfly. What you did is not what I died for. Elphaba....I died so you could break the curse. Not have it continue. I couldn't break the curse, but you can. Just let people in....please..."

Slowly, the haze started lifting, as her mother's voice faded, along with her comforting smile.

"Mama? Mama!"

Everyone looked up, to see Elphaba's violet eyes open and searching frantically for someone. Slowly, Fiyero went to her.

"Hey." He took her hand as her eyes quickly passed over him, and then stopped. "You scared us. We almost lost you."

She met his eyes for a moment, before wrenching her hand away. Slowly, she turned from him, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Elphaba?"

She looked up, seeing her baby brother at the foot of the bed. His eyes were red and puffy, tears glistened on his cheeks, and his hair was a mess. Slowly, he walked over to her, taking her hand and bringing it to his cheek. After kissing her palm firmly, he asked,

"Why did you do that?"

She didn't say anything.

"We...told Shell everything. About....the drugs, the sex, the suicide attempts..." Slowly, she turned, her violet eyes boring into Fiyero's. "Elphaba, he needed to know. He's your brother."

"You had no right to tell him." She replied. "_I'm _his sister!_ I_ should have told him!"

"_You_ wouldn't have. You'd have kept it a secret." Fiyero answered. She turned from him, looking back at Shell.

"Why did you do that, Elphaba? Don't you love me anymore?" He asked, tears sliding down his cheeks. She closed her eyes, swallowing.

"Come on, give them some space." The nurse ushered both Galinda and Fiyero out the door, but not before Fiyero pressed his lips against her forehead. Elphaba didn't notice. Once they were gone, she spoke.

"I..."

"Did I do something wrong, Elphaba? Is that why you did this?"

"No Shell. It wasn't you." Then, she patted the bed next to her. Slowly, he climbed up next to her, snuggling into her arms. He rested his head on her chest, feeling the locket against his forehead.

"Fiyero said you're sick." She sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Well...he... he's right."

_Swallow your pride, Butterfly. You need help. If Fiyero can help you, let him. Please. For Shell's sake, and for yours. Shell's lost me, don't let him lose you too. You're the only mother he's ever known....he loves you, Butterfly. Your death would kill him. Please. Think of your brother._

She looked at him.

"Elphaba?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me the story of the princess and the moon. Please."

After a moment, she nodded.

"All right." He snuggled into her arms, his head resting on her chest as she wove the tragic tale. When she was done, his voice was barely above a whisper,

"Elphaba?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think the prophecy is real?"

"I don't know, Shell. Mama always said it was."

He looked up at her.

"I don't remember her telling me that." Tears came to her eyes at her baby brother's innocence.

"That's because she didn't." She choked out, her voice thick with tears.

"Because she died?" His sister nodded. "Father said she commited suicide."

Elphaba bit her lip. Should she tell him? If she did, what would make Shell believe her anyway?

_He's your brother. The bond you two share is stronger than any bond with Frex, Butterfly._

"She didn't, Shell."

"She didn't?" Elphaba shook her head.

"How do you know?" Elphaba took a deep breath.

"Because he killed her. Father killed her." Shell stared at her, wide-eyed.

"N...No he didn't. He said that she commited suicide and he tried to stop her."

"He lied. I know he did. Because I saw."

Tears ran freely down her cheeks now. After a moment, Shell whispered,

"Saw what?"

"I saw him kill her."

"But, how? I didn't."

"You were a baby. I wasn't. I was six. I....they're yelling woke me up. I...I went downstairs."

_The child woke up at the sound of voices rising. Quickly, she silently slipped out of bed, and her room. She slipped into the shadows of hall outside the living room, and watched, quiet. _

_"You gave that vermin your locket?!"_

_"She's not vermin, Frex! She's your daughter!" _

_"No! Nessa's my daughter! Not that.....that thing!" _

_A slap, and a cry. Tears welled, but didn't spill over. _

_"She's my daughter! I wanted her to have it! Not Nessa! You give Nessa everything! She isn't your only daughter! Elphaba is too!"_

_A shove, the glasses on the table shattered on the floor. _

"How did he--?"

"He....he stabbed her. In the parlor. They fought, and he...he shoved her...she fell..."

_"You filthy--"_

_A knife being raised. _

_Her mother's screams echoed through the house, as her father repeatedly raised and lowered the knife, the blade going from sparkling silver to deep, blood red. Finally, her mother's screams ended. Silently, the girl ran back to her room, and burrowed under the covers, the sight of blood tattooed into her memory forever. _

"He stabbed her. Multiple times. Her blood soaked the rug....and when he turned, I ran back upstairs."

"But....Father said that....that Mama committed--"

"He lied. He killed her...and then....then... buried her in the backyard, in an unmarked grave..."

Shell listened to his sister, to shocked about the true to say anything. Finally, he snuggled down in his sister's arms, and whispered,

"What did she do before she died?"

"She....she t...told me the story about the princess and the moon."

"And the prophecy?" Elphaba nodded.

"Elphaba?" Silence. "Tell me the prophecy again."

She sniffled, taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart.

"Aelphaba's prophecy states, one of our kind will be accepted not only by those around her, but also by the one who loves her truly. True love plays a role in her prophecy- when one of us finds her true love, the diamonds Aelphaba possessed on either side of her eyes and her forehead will materialize on her skin."

Shell looked up at her.

"How will she know he's the one?"

"Because.....because, they will sparkle with dust, like stars. They will light his eyes, and both will feel complete, whole. Her skin will become swathed in black silk, and a necklace of emeralds will appear around her throat. She will become the image of Aelphaba, for one small difference- the diamond in the middle of her forehead will glow green. The spell will be broken, and the girl and her lover will finally live a normal life."

"Elphaba?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think it will come true?"

"I don't know."

"Elphaba?"

"Yeah Shell?"

"Fiyero loves you. Do you love him?" She didn't answer. After a moment, "You scared me. I thought you'd left me all alone. I don't want to be alone."

"You're not alone, Shell. I'm here."

"But you're sick. You need help. Please Elphaba. I lost Mama. I don't want to lose you too." He said, breaking down. Elphaba held him tight, running her fingers through his thick raven hair.

"You won't lose me, Shell."

"Promise?"

Gently, she kissed the top of his head.

"I promise."

Two hours later, when they came in to check on them, they found Shell wrapped in Elphaba's arms; both fast asleep. They left, making sure they didn't disturb them.

Gently, Fiyero covered the pair, before kissing Elphaba's forehead and leaving.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**Thanks to Dolphin0150, lizziemagic, and StuckInSouthstairs for reviewing 35, and crazybeagle for reviewing 34.**

_I'm sinking slowly  
So hurry hold me  
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on  
Please can you tell me  
So I can finally see  
Where you go when you're gone_

They allowed Elphaba to leave the infirmary three days later. Galinda kept a close eye on her roommate, and even went so far as to take the drugs and needles away from her. Not that Elphaba seemed to care, she still had her smoking habit, and spent the majority of her time sitting by the window, smoking.

"Elphie? I'm going to go to the cafeteria. Do you want to come?" The green girl didn't look up.

"No thanks. Not hungry."

Slowly, Galinda nodded.

"Okay." And she slipped out the door, leaving Elphaba alone. After several moments, Elphaba removed herself from the windowsill, and went to her closet. She dug around for several minutes, before grabbing her bookbag. Instead of going to the door, she took her customary route, climbing out the window. Most of the students were either out on the town, or at the cafeteria. She headed to the gates, unaway that someone was chasing after her.

"Elphaba!" She only took noticed when they grabbed her hand and she turned.

Fiyero.

"Thank Oz I caught you. Where are you going?" She eyed him for a minute, before replying.

"None of your business." Then, she turned to go, but he refused to relinquish her hand. When it looked like he wouldn't let go, she turned back.

_Swallow your pride, Butterfly. Please._

"Th....th...tha...than...thank...thank you." She choked out, meeting his eyes. He nodded.

"You're welcome." He whispered. Then, she glanced down at their hands, and quickly pulled away, before turning and hurrying out the gate. Fiyero sighed, watching her go.

It wasn't the world exploding, but it was a start.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**Question: When do we get to full out Fiyeraba?!?!?!? Fiyero's hehe butterfly kisses aren't cutting it anymore!**

**Answer: The MAJOR Fiyeraba won't be until the final chapters, BUT there will be Fiyeraba dispersed evenly (somewhat) throughout until we get to the final chapters.**

**Question:Where'd you get the idea of what Aelphaba looked like? Sounds cool.**

**Answer: I just.... I love mythology- any mythology really- but most of all Celtic mythology. I've studied the different religions, but I think that Wicca is the most interesting, because it's all about going back to Mother Earth, which is what the Celts believed- everything came from Mother Earth- and that plays into this as well. The Celts in ancient Ireland also believed in Samhain- the one day out of the year when your ancestors walk the earth. They were the ones to believe and really start the tradition of 'fairies', 'goblins', 'brownies', and 'changlings', and they also believed that everything had a spirit or a soul. They were the creators of the Four Solstices- Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, and that each solstice was important, not just to their way of life, but also to the earth. **

**As for Aelphaba... I got the idea partially from the Celts, and partially from the ancient world's beliefs of there being four major elements. Saint Aelphaba of the Waterfall, I basically made into the... patron saint of water- brookes, streams, lakes- therefore making her the Element of Water, and also decided to give her one of the qualities of a banshee:**

_**"She is said to wander the woods, her scream fortells death."**_

**In Celtic/Irish mythology, the banshee is essentially, this (Wikipedia): a female spirit in Irish mythology, usually seen as an omen of death and a messenger from the Otherworld. ****The banshee can appear in a variety of guises. Most often she appears as an ugly, frightening hag, but can also appear as a stunningly beautiful woman of any age that suits her. ****Although not always seen, her mourning call is heard, usually at night when someone is about to die and usually around woods. **

**The banshee may also appear in a variety of other forms, such as that of a Hooded Crow, stoat (shortailed weasel)****, hare**** and weasel**** - animals associated in Ireland with witchcraft****. ****In Irish legend, a banshee wails around a house if someone in the house is about to die. ****In later versions the banshee might appear before the death and warn the family by wailing. When several banshees appeared at once, it indicated the death of someone great or holy. The tales sometimes recounted that the woman, though called a fairy, was a ghost, often of a specific murdered woman, or a woman who died in childbirth. ****Banshees are frequently described as dressed in white or grey, and often having long, fair hair which they brush with a silver comb****. This comb detail is also related to the centuries-old traditional romantic Irish story that, if you ever see a comb lying on the ground in Ireland, you must never pick it up, or the banshees (or mermaids — stories vary), having placed it there to lure unsuspecting humans, will spirit such gullible humans away. Other stories portray banshees as dressed in green, red or black with a grey cloak. **

**So, if you look back at my description of Aelphaba, **

**_Aephaba was not only the goddess of the waterfall, but also goddess of heartbreak and death. She watched over those who suffered broken hearts, led those who passed from this world into the next, was the goddess of battle, as well as prophecy, and is said to wander the woods, her scream fortells death. As beautiful as her mother, Aelphaba has long black hair, violet eyes, and skin the color of emeralds. She is_**_ **dressed in a gown of black silk, spun from the petals of black violets, and also wears a necklace of emeralds around her neck, the sacred jewel of the gods. She carries a broom and an ancient spellbook, and has blue diamond tattoos next to her eyes, as well as one in the middle of her forehead**__**. For a goddess, the diamonds are a mirror to the future. Possessing one on either side of the eyes and one on the forehead is a means to see what the future holds. **_

**It's somewhat similar to that of a banshee, isn't it?**

**As for the Elemental bit:**

**In Greek thought the philosopher Aristotle**** added aether**** as the quintessence, reasoning that whereas fire, earth, air, and water were earthly and corruptible, since no changes had been perceived in the heavenly regions, the stars**** cannot be made out of any of the four elements but must be made of a different, unchangeable, heavenly substance. **

**Like in my story _Alchemy_, it uses the four Elements (water, earth, air, fire for passion?) (summary): _Four elements. Earth, Wind, Water, Fire. They watch over Oz and its people, keeping it in balance. If one element tipped the delicate scale, all would be lost. Dating back before the time of Kumbrica and Lurline, legend says that the four elements would eventually reincarnate centuries later, in the form of witches; witches that would be the most powerful in all Oz. Two wicked, two good. One each representing the four points of the compass, the four points of the cross, the four countries of Oz: Gillikin, Munchkinland, Quadling Country, and The Vinkus. And when these elements meet, Oz can either survive, or perish._**

**Basically, Aelphaba has the beauty of the goddesses, the qualities of banshee, and the elements combined. I'd say it's a pretty cool combination, wouldn't you?**

**Question: Wait. Who's POV is this in**

**if it varies? I'm a bit confusified...**

**Answer: Third person, mainly. Kind of first, but mostly third.**

**Question: And what is your opinion on the musical "Sessions?"**

**Answer: I thought it was great! Saw the bootlegged version, but it was still awesome!**

**Question: So is she finally going to let Galinda be friends with her too?**

**Answer: you'll find out...**

**Question:Or is she just feeling that she'll choose to live at this particular moment, because Shell's there with her? **

**Answer: kind of.... seeing how upset he got, and hearing how he blamed himself jarred her at that moment**

**Question:****What will happen once she leaves the infirmary? **

**Answer: you'll see...**

**Question: Will she go back to her old habits? **

**Answer: maybe.....**

**Question: ****Or will she find the courage to try something new, to let people in?**

**Answer:.... maybe not...**

**Thanks to hot4edward and obsessive-elphaba for reviewing 35 and 36, FabalaTiggular, lizziemagic, and Dolphin0150 for reviewing 36.**

_If you want to  
I can save you  
I can take you away from here  
So lonely inside  
So busy out there  
And all you wanted  
was somebody who cares_

She hurried down the street, head down.

She had to see him. She had too.

Finally, she made it to the school, hurried up the steps, and knocked. When she got no answer, she turned to go, only to have the door open.

"Elphaba?"

She stopped, and turned, seeing Shell in the doorway. Tears welled in her eyes, and her heart quickened. Slowly, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and bit her lip.

"Look, Shell... I... I know you probably don't want to see me ever again but...."

She stopped, as he ran to her, throwing his arms around her waist, and burying his face in her chest. Slowly, she reached down, laying a hand on her brother's head.

"I love you, Elphaba." Came his muffled reply, as he burrowed closer to her. The tears slid down her cheeks, and she took a deep breath, saying,

"I love you, too, Shell."

"Are you getting better, Elphaba?" Sighing, she knelt in front of him, holding his hands.

"I'm trying, Shell. I really am."

"But not hard enough?"

"I'm_ trying_."

He nodded, watching her face. Finally, he grabbed her hand, pulled her up, and dragged her into the school.

"Where are we going? Shell?" He didn't reply, instead, dragged her up the stairs to the second floor, where the dorms were. Then, he took her down the hall, and to his room. Once they were inside, he closed the door as Elphaba looked around.

Like the dorms at Shiz, the boys at Sir Chuffery's School shared dorms. Shell was rooming with his best friend, Tersan, a boy from the Vinkus. Tersan was out, spending some time with his family, so Shell had the dorm to himself. It was a nice dorm, relatively small compared to Elphaba and Glinda's, but just the right size for two twelve-year-old boys. The room's walls were relatively bare, but that's not what drew Elphaba's attention. Slowly, she went to the nightstand, her eyes fixed on the photographs. With a mind of its own, her hand reached out, and she picked one up.

She recognized it instantly.

Mama.

The photograph was the last one of Melena. She was pregnant with Shell, it was taken a few days before Shell's birth and Melena's death. Elphaba was snuggled into her mother's side, her hand on Melena's belly, as her mother wrapped one arm around her daughter, and covered her child's small hand with the other. She was pressing a kiss to Elphaba's forehead, as the girl looked up at her; the two sitting on the verandah step.

"You and Mama and me."

Elphaba didn't look up at her brother's voice. Instead, she stared at the portrait, before slowly, sitting down on her brother's bed, her fingers tracing her mother's profile, tears in her eyes.

"I remember when this was taken." She whispered, sniffling.

"You do?" Shell asked, sitting next to her. Elphaba nodded. "Cause I don't." A soft chuckle escaped his sister's lips, and she smiled softly.

"You weren't born yet. This was taken a couple days before you were, if I remember correctly."

"Oh."

"She's wearing it."

"What?" Shell asked, leaning over to look at the photograph.

"The shrug."

"Shrug?" He looked up at her oddly. She nodded, before finally looking up at her brother.

"Her black shrug. She wore it everywhere. I never saw her with it off. Father gave it... to her. For her birthday." She stopped, turning back to the photograph. "I remember... I'd... run to her and... she'd... hold her arms open and... when I was close, she'd... wrap her arms around me and... hold me close. Or we'd... sit in front of the fireplace in the living room after my bath, and she'd.... she'd pull me into her lap and brush my hair.... she'd... pull me into her arms at night.... if we went out late to the lake and... she'd sit on the shore, and pull me onto her lap and... wrap the shrug around both of us and we'd... watch the stars or she'd tell me the story about the princess and the moon..." A smile had been on her face as she remembered her mother, but soon faded with the last memory. "And the night she died.... she wore it."

Shell waited, silent, listening.

"She... After dinner, she... took me into your room, and... let me hold you... and I climbed into her lap, and... she laid you in my arms and... let me hold you. And... then she took you back and... fed you and.... I watched..."

_"Mommy?" _

_"Hmm? What is it, butterfly?"_

_"What are you doing?" _

_"Feeding your brother." _

_The little girl wrinkled her nose. _

_"How?" _

_Her mother looked up at her. She really didn't want to have this conversation now, but she knew if she didn't, they never would. Sighing, she said,_

_"Well, when a mommy has a baby--"_

_The girl sat on the floor at her mother's feet, waiting anxiously. _

_"-- she has to feed the baby."_

_"Oh.... but why is he doing that?"_

_This wasn't going to get any easier. It was now or never. _

_"Sweetie, when a mommy has a baby, she starts to produce milk." _

_"Like moo cows." _

_Melena chuckled at the child's logic._

_"Sort of, but not quite. But mommies do produce milk like moo cows, but that's about it. That's the only thing mommies and moo cows have in common."_

_"Oh. But... mommy, you're not a moo cow." _

_"I know I'm not, butterfly."_

_"Then why-"_

_"Because your little brother needs it to live. Babies live off of milk the first years of their lives." _

_Slowly, Elphaba stood. _

_"But why is he doing that?" _

_"Because nursing is the only way he can eat." _

_"But where's the milk?" _

_"Right here." Melena said, indicating her breasts._

_"I don't get it."_

_She chuckled._

_"You'll understand when you're older and when you have a baby." _

_Elphaba nodded, watching. Soon, Melena removed her son's mouth, pulled up her bra strap, buttoned her blouse, and burped him, before going to the crib. _

_"Mama!" _

_Slowly, Melena knelt down, so that her oldest daughter could kiss her brother goodnight. She watched the little girl kiss her brother's forehead._

_"Night Shell." _

_Then, Melena stood, kissed her son's forehead, laid him in his crib, took her daughter's hand, and left, heading to Elphaba's bedroom. _

"... and then she.... took me to my room, and... I climbed into bed and she... she told me the story about the princess and the moon, and then.... kissed me goodnight and left. And she died later that night."

Shell had sat silent, and now, wrapped his arms around his sister. She pulled him close.

When Elphaba left, later that afternoon, Shell stopped her, placing the photograph into her hands.

"Shell, I can't. This-"

"I had them make another copy. You can have the original. You remember her more than me anyway, and she loved you more."

"Oh Shell." She knelt down, and wrapped him in her arms. "She didn't love me anymore than you. She loved us both very, _very_ much."

He burrowed into her arms, his own wrapping around her neck, as his shoulders shook with sobs.

"Shh... it's okay. It's okay." Gently, she kissed his hair, breathing in his scent. When he finally calmed down, he snuggled into her.

"Elphaba?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think Mama's with us?"

She stopped, startled. Her violet eyes moved up, seeing Melena behind her younger brother. Then, she returned her attention to him, kissing his hair again.

"I don't know, Shell. I think so, but I don't know."


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38.**

**Rifiuto: Non Miriena**

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry this chapter is so late, but I finally finished editing. Hope it's okay.**

**Thanks to Dolphin0150, lizziemagic and metrokarateacademyrocks for reviewing 37.**

_All you wanted was somebody who cares  
If you need me you know I'll be there  
Oh, yeah_

When she left Sir Chuffery's, she wandered through the street, smoking on a cigarette to calm her nerves, the photograph in her pocket. It wasn't until the first fat, cold raindrop hit her that she realized it was raining, and rushed to get out of the downpour. Stopping under an awning, she looked out at the drenched streets, as people passed in cars and lights in shops glowed golden in the night. She glanced behind her, seeing the bakery she was standing in front of, and turned back to the front, reaching for her pocket.

After a quick search, she pulled the photograph out, and looked at it, tucking her wet hair behind her ears. She stared at the photograph, seeing her mother's smile, hearing her voice, as tears slid down her cheeks and landed on the glossy paper. Quickly, she reached up to wipe her cheeks, never taking her eyes from the picture.

_"Mama the baby moved!" _

_Melena laughed softly, meeting her daughter's excited eyes. _

_"I know."_

_"You do?" _

_She nodded. _

_"I felt him move too." _

_Eyes wide, Elphaba smiled excitedly at her mother._

She sniffled, and looked out into the street. A hand on her shoulder made her jump, and she turned, to see the baker standing behind her, concern on his face. She rushed into the street, disappearing into the darkness, the photograph still in her fist. Rain pelted her hair and back as she rushed through the streets, hurrying back to Shiz. Once she made it back to campus, however, she went to the lake, collapsing on the shore as the rain made ripples in the water.

After a while, she curled up on the ground, watching the water, before allowing the tears she'd been holding back to fall. Her shoulders shook, and she felt her heart begin to race, as her body started shaking; either from the cold or from drug withdrawal, she didn't know which. All she knew was that seeing the photograph again upset her. Her eyes closed and she buried her face in the shore, letting the rain make its imprint on her skin.

When her tears finally stopped, she slowly reached down to pick up the picture. Rolling onto her back, she slowly, carefully uncrumpled it and smoothed it out. They looked so happy; Melena looked so alive. It was the last smile she'd seen her mother wear- the last smile she'd ever wear. Sniffling, she traced her mother's features gently, before lowering the picture and looking at the moon.

_"I don't know what happened." _She sobbed, covering her face with her hand momentarily. _"I don't know what I did wrong!" _Only the rain answered, continuing its pursuit of the ground. _"I didn't mean to... I didn't..." _She broke down completely, letting everything she'd been feeling for the last several hours overwhelm her. When her sobs finally subsided, she sat up, pulling her knees to her chest, the photo on the ground beside her.

"Hush... hush, Butterfly, please."

She didn't look up, knowing who was beside her.

"Butterfly you have to stop. You're not only hurting yourself but also Shell. He needs you. You're the only mother he's ever known."

After a moment, she lifted her head, and looked around, her eyes locking with Melena's. Then, she grabbed the photograph and got up, leaving the lake and going back to Shiz, her mother following. When she made it to her dorm, she slipped the photo in her pocket, and climbed to her dorm window, slipping inside quietly so as not to wake Glinda. Closing the window softly, she climbed into bed and burrowed under the covers, not bothering to remove her wet clothes.

After several moments of listening to Glinda's even breathing, she pulled out the photograph and stared at it. Even in the dark, she knew her mother's features, could trace them by heart. She sniffled, and buried her face in the pillow to stop her tears.

_"Mama! Mama, I'm scared!"_

_Melena sat down on the edge of the bed, and tucked a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear. _

_"Now there's nothing to be afraid of. The rain won't hurt you, it'll just make you wet, that's all. And then you'll have to get dry." _

_"But it-"_

_"Shh. There's no need to be afraid of the rain, my butterfly."_

_"But Mama-"_

_"Did you know that butterflies like the rain?" _

_The little girl shook her head. _

_"They do?"_

_Her mother nodded._

_"Mhm. Butterflies come out at night when it rains, and they dance around in it, and they use the raindrops as dance shoes, and they partner up with other butterflies and dance together. And when the rain stops and everything quiets down, they go jump in the puddles."_

_Slowly, the little girl lowered the blanket from her face, and stared at her mother. _

_"Really?" She nodded. "Can I see?" Then she climbed out of bed and went to her window, her mother following. "I don't see them."_

_Her mother held a finger to her lips._

_"Shh. Butterflies are very secret. They don't like humans to watch them dance. If a human is watching, then they'll hide until they're gone." Then she scooped her daughter up and carried her back to bed, tucking her under the covers. _

_"Why can't I see them? I'm a butterfly."_

_"But you don't like the rain. Only butterflies that go out in the rain can see them." After a moment, she leaned over and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Now that's enough talk tonight. Time for little butterflies to go to bed. Okay?" She kissed her daughter again, "Goodnight, Butterfly." _

_"Night Mama. I love you."_

_"I love you too."_

When the memory faded, she reached up to grab the locket.

"I didn't see the butterflies, Mama. I wish I had. They could have taken me away from here."

Then, she buried her face in the pillow and wept.


End file.
